Saturday, January 8, 2005
Limerick Hoe-Down o' the Week
Trish was the Copperest-Copper there was,
She set Lance’s young loins all a-buzz;
But she had no Brazilian,
Had pubes by the trillion,
Lance found why her nickname’s “The Fuzz“.
What? What’s that? You think YOU can do better? Well, that’s why we have us a comments section here. Son. Have at!
Trish was a fine English Bobbie
Met young Ian Smith in the lobby.
His rap sheet was dirty
But she thought he was perty
And gave him a cuff job wet and sloppy.
Aussie Trish is the colour burnt umber.
On the beach she fell into slumber.
The lobsters and crabs,
Crawled over her abs,
And slid up her juicy down under.
Sunburned Rita, meter maid
Two hours ‘neath the sun lamp laid
With a half-pint of whiskey,
‘Til her cooter turned crispy
So she had to go oral on Wade.
The winner with the best limerick wins this dog, unless the winner is hermit, since this actually IS his dog:
Definitely not my dog.
.
Ex-wife maybe.
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I’ve seen dogs run over by trucks look better than that.
I’ve got some videos of my 14 year old Golden (respect) haning a diahrreah and shit. sn
There once was a vagabond named hermit
Who’d poked more piggies than Kermit;’
He made love to rot-gut
And resembled Kurt Vonnegut,
When he scored a big butt he’d sperm it.
And then we have a Reverend Canadian;
The French drunks down South are called Cajun;
He digs the way that Rush rocks
And knows Lenny The Box
And if he’ll share Lenny’s number I’ll pay him.
Wait…my apologies, hermit. That’s Jack Elam’s dog.
Limericks about Sock
Tend to talk about cocck
But just between us his
Ex caused a fuss and said
That it’s only a Weenus.
The new weed is very, very piney.
Mrs. Kroeger gets awefully whiney.
But to Seder i come,
Finger and thumb,
Ramming my stoned cock up her hiney.
People they think there are aliens,
Like Judy Garland boffing Italians
In Central Park
It’s never dark.
But the hobos resemble mammalians.
A bag hunter who was known as Vin Douchal
Made songs for our Heads that were Crucial;
He serenaded a ho-bag called Francine
Who he wished would inhale his Vin-Peen
In her buttocks that were regretably poo-full.
D. Wallnuts, he ran wit’ th’ Rat Pack;
They only nailed broads what was full-stack.
Whilst in his prime spot
Dames offered their dime spot
But now he does chemo and poos black.
There once was a reg named Jacques
Who could bust out with some serious mock
But more often he thinks
To make disturbing links
And tell stories ’bout his feces covered cock
There once was a Canadian appraiser
Who liked to pick up hooker teenagers
He drove around drunk
With weed in his trunk
‘Til the cops took him down with a taser.
I prefer analyst Hermit
The muppet have froggie named Kermit
Lenny and I
Always drive high
Cause I don’t have license permit
The man named Jacques Doucheteau
Went places that no one should go;
He’d post up a link
full of stink, hair and pink
And cause all the Reg’s chunks to blow.
All you Fucknuts, especially ‘Sock
Spend your time fondling yer cocck
This shit is soft porn
Put down your pone, corn
And check out this nasty Milf block
This overly tanned English Bobby
Trends towards drunks, fat and slobby
Give her boyfriend a wink
And today add a twink
They’ll both give that BF a knobby
Vin D loves him some Francine
To her I would do things obscene
Stick my tongue up her ass
Bang her slow and then fast
Coat her face with my personal skin cream
She looks like she cooks a good haggis
And probably grooves with the faggots.
Cause Pete here we know
Is a flaming homo
And looks kind of like Greg Louganis.
Rev, that’s….Hell. Close enough. Son.
Five months of snow
The barrens to go.
Depression clutches us all,
Our sombre season since fall.
I need some good blow.
Though Vin is at times somewhat odd,
And may be a old perverted sod,
By the milf porn he provided
To my penis my hand was guided
And rubbed out a chunky wad.
I can’t get a line on a limerick
On account a this ain’t no hot chick
She’s more like a dog
And her Snatch smells like a Bog
Which is sure to wither my dick
There once was a young man named Tim
who wanted some hot British quim
he tried and tried
to get it inside
but it turned out she was really a him.
All that’s left are The Regs
Makin fun a these Societal Dregs
And these two aren’t so bad
Compared to the losers we had
Next we’ll have chicks with no legs
In England the Jolly Old Snapper
Smells like a subway crapper
The chicks don’t wax
Their pink Cockney Cracks
And their Meat Curtains can work the Clapper
“Fuck the Police” ranted Eazy E
Bobby thought “Hey, why not me?”
So he went to the bobby
and started to lobby
that’s when she capped him right in the knees
This Two-thousand and five
Is grooving with my jive.
Just won a bid to go retroactive
On a job very that seems very attractive.
And in this year I have already arrived?
This is a new thing to mock? Almost as bad as the women no makeup shit. If G_d wantednwomen to run around ugly, he wouldn’t have invented concealing shit.
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http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/men-are-putting-their-penises-in-socks-on-instagram-for-canc?bffb
I think putting your cock in a vagina is the best way to raise awareness for just about everything. Putting your cock in a sock and selfie-ing is Autto…
Officer The Rev is on the job!
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http://tampa.cbslocal.com/2014/03/25/woman-claims-police-forced-her-to-poop-in-yard/
I saw one a them meth joints up north of Ottawa after a law firm had to repo it after the small fire that exposed the clandestine lab. People have turned into such pussies ya gotta rehab the building to cray cray extremes. Cray cray, I says. Just cause there’s a residential component. Pussy regulations fucking shit. Ya used to be able to buy em and flip em like ya should. Paint covers that meth shit up. Liberal fluoride fearing weirdos. I told the guy with the whatever the fuck those big wrecking things are called that met me there to tear it down. Pussies.
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There was a slim two day old medium length turd in the cooking room. I sense a trend. Son. Stoooned.
D.W.’s alert reader story of a woman being forced to poop in her own yard takes place in, of fuccen course, Florida.
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Florida – America’s WTF Japan.