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Thursday, March 31, 2005
Fraiku
***Yeah, I know DB1 had this gem as a link on his Chrimmas post…but dammit it’s just too good to pass up for Fraiku. Boss been sittin’ on some primo bag pics, yo. – D.S.***
Vin “Cool Breeze” Capon
Smirks as Liza collapses;
“Roofie’s kickin’ in…”
Ed Hardy Har Har said…
Eyes roll back in head.
LIza won’t be seeing Vin’s
premature cork pop.
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
Will this be the year
I have threesome with Katie
Couric and T-Pain?
DoucheyWallnuts said…
Trina would have sworn
Rex was transgender until
She checked under shirt
Magnum Douche P. I. said…
Other pec has date
tatt of his mom’s gang bang when
really created
Magnum Douche P. I. said…
Is she unconscious
if her eyes are are still open ?
Asking for Cool Breeze.
Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said…
His tattoo is why
millions believe in Flying
Spaghetti Monster.
Ed Hardy Har Har said…
Unconscious just means
she’s given her consent, right?
Asking for Cool Breeze.
hermit said…
In darkness of night
Her eyes are encrusted with
Satanic Wheat Chex™
Wheezer said…
Over-drafted card
in hand, Sally disgusted
by last charge on it.
DoucheyWallnuts said…
She’ll wear a ball gag
Before the night is over
And not remember
Friday Haiku
Biff Precious chuckles
As he ogles at these two;
“Hell…I’ll buy them BOTH!”
I live for things like
The twinkle in Blondie’s eyes
And Beth’s tinkle hole.
Biff chuckles, head back
Sent these babes loaded drinks
Windowless van waits
It puts the cleft in
The palate, or it gets the
Hose. Kirk Douglas Hose.
Biff reels in horror
As Cindy’s boiled eggs and beans
Turn solid to gas.
Kurt Russell Douche macks
On the Boner Twins but they
Have Sapphic intent
Biff was gonna go
All Cosby on those chicks ass.
Drugged himself instead.
Insecurity
over uneven nipples.
Donkey punch is fine.
That tranny’s nipples
Gave me a huge shame Renob
Biff views tuck technique.
Drinks for all my friends!
yells barfly Biff as he falls
the tab was six bucks.
**^Runner up! D.S.**
I have now Hitler’d
A couple billion tadpoles
Thinking of clam bump
Dat Willem Dafoe
knows how to bag the hotties;
Green Goblin’ dem boobs
Tranny bashing is
All the rage. Never makes it
To the Sock’s first page.
Friday Haiku
In this week’s Fraiku –
Caption this in Haiku form;
Double Jeopardy…
Daniel knows Brian
is quite the cunning linguist…
…and that’s first hand too.
Oh, they are so cute
Mom can we take these fidgets
home with us please, please!
First paycheck from
The assistant manager
Gig at Brooks Brothers
Tailored jacket Todd
Says I knew Winston Churchill
And you are no dude?
Family portrait
Shows incest is not the best
Nor is it straight. Sons
Barry shows off his
technique for making Chaz tight
to unimpressed girls.
The Robertson twins
cavort with Jose Cuervo
They both swallow worm.
Semitic Hotties
Pining for non-Kosher meat
Non-Kosher, I says
Chad tries to send Chaz
subtle message about what
he wants in restroom.
Could be wrong here guys
Chick on right, Armenian?
Shaved arm/mustache hair?
Monday, March 28, 2005
Friday Haiku
My brother’s escaped
From Psych Ward; lock up your daughters;
His name is…PinkSock.
Sock’s laptop is hosed
It’s all ate up with Mal-Ware;
O damn you, Brazzers…
Gaymau5 does not miss
Leg day at the gym ever
It rubs the lotion…
PinkSock battle cry
Turns bitter dissapointment
Finds out got a chick
Catwoman’s birthday
stripper wasn’t really what
Batman expected.
“Meet your new cellmate”
is what you don’t want to hear
when seeing this guy
The PinkSock is swole
everywhere but in his
rubber pantaloon.
Don’t google Pinksock
unless you want to see the
Revs wife’s prolapsed ass
PinkSock is swole since
Batwoman put her finger
in his monkeyhole
The other Pink Meat
Is waaaaay preferable to
This living Jacques link
It stuffs the prolapse
In the anus or it gets
The hose. The Puke Hose
PinkSock wails in angst
Got six more weeks of re-hab
Peed in a cup once
Silence of the Gams
Hannibal Rectum puts
Clarrisse in prolapse.
The stunt double for
George Michaels sighs; “Any old
Pork in a Storm…ewwww“
George Michael stand-in
says softer than the hard men
I’m used to. UPSET!
That 70’s show
reboot looks way better than
the original.
“Spent my whole paycheck,
all I have to show for it,
is this lap dance, Son.”
It puts the beard in
The basket or it get the hose.
The Bathroom Stall Hose.
“Ride me you beast” shouts
Jenny. Fake George looks for his
car keys for Yugo.
George Michael is gay
Since the gyroscope was put
In his monkeyhole.
Do U even lift?
How’d you find a brown Sharpie
To draw brows and beard
Oh, don’t cry for me
Asian Tina, truth is I
Don’t even lift, bro
“This girl is really
skanky. Bro, don’t you dare take
my pho…. Gawdamnit!”
Two-for-one huge ass
sunglasses hide the vapid
stares of the soul-less
She has a Googutz
That launched a 1000 renoBs
And he’s killed them all
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Fraiku: Swole Edition
SwoleBro scores Blonde Hott.
Ego is also swollen;
He bangs her sister.
Penis and nipple
have much in common. Both are
limp and pancake shaped.
It puts the skank in
The basket, or it gets the
Hose. The Valtrex Hose.
Mad Men head on Swole
Bro body leaves me confused.
But nipple leaves me…
.
with the urge to barf!
How can he be so swole and
possess flapjack nip?
Can dead lift V-Dub
Though frequently forgets mom’s
Address where he lives
He finished second
In gynecomastia
Contest. She won first
Like Grandma used to say:
All swole’ arms and peanut head,
Makes Jack a dull boy
Does this mean that porch
beef has twice the calories
as regular beef?
Brole™ flashes piece sign
Blonde Hott is thinking “Shocker?
Out here by the pool?”
Even Bob Barker
would donate money to get
these two neutered, sons.
Cement head admits
“Two lumps on left testicle
Who cares though, I’m swole”
Friday, March 25, 2005
Caption This
It puts the Hooters in the diaper or it gets The Hose. The Fun Hose.
Friday Haiku
Whoa! Lookit them buns!
She pines for a sugar cube;
‘Bag nipple deflates.
***Excellent work, faithful mockers; I giggled at this week’s Fraiku™ more giddily than Jacques Douchetou™ murdering Justin Bieber™ in a veal stall with a claw hammer. I’m adding a new Easter Egg from hereforthwith; them what wins the Internet™ with the sturdiest Fraiku™ (denoted in bold red™) will also have a link embedded in their missive that will lead to Pear™. As I further convalesce, I shall also endeavor to do the occasional pear-laden Thoughts n’ Links™ since I now sit atop an impressive pile o pear thanks to the generous submissions of you web-trolling horn-dogs…the heroic douche-bag regs, or as I think of you, the d’regs™. 23™. Son™ ***
Opie done got swole
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Opie’s arm — bigger
Than his head, and smarter too
Only dates horses
Nipplestopheles
gut punches that which he does
not understand: shirts
It puts the horse face
In the basket, or it gets
The hose..The pee hose.
I’d put her heinie
In the basket and f*ck it
I’d f*ck it, I says
Must be a mistake
I thought that show was canceled
“Two and a Half Men”
I’ve got a haunch that
the make a wish foundation
needs new management.
Bent Nipple, Gaysian
and Man Face. These sitcoms get
worse every year.
Shirtless dude peddles:
“Nips point way of stock market”
Buffett divests all
Cheryl Crowe horse face
Can crush walnuts with her ass
Flexy McPec sucks
That chick’s gristle hole
Could cut some poor dude’s penis
Clean half in two, Son
Nipsy Fluffle shows
off his form for tonight’s
wankfest in men’s room.
Friday Haiku
Duck Face? Aw Hell Naw.
Tool-Bag introduces the
Courtney Love Vag-Face…
***The Mock is small but STRONG this cycle, alert readers; much like storied pro wrestler Igor Putksi. Son. In a hard choice, Vin D wins the InterWebs because of the Kafka-esque hopelessness of his acerbic post…
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
They smell like those pork
Sausages with the fancy
Names Portuguese.
hermit said…
Semitic trio
Has a real reason to fear
Midget ISIS dude
Vin Douchal said…
Daffy Duck poses
Chicks will laugh at photobomb
‘Til job interview
Charles Douchewin said…
Meanwhile, backstage
the Bona Killahs pose with
their number one fan.
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
It puts the fist on
The chin, or it gets the
Hose. Filthy bitch hose.
Vin Douchal said…
Background dudes all stunned
Paid for these Bleeths drinks all night
Cabbie takes them home
Charles Douchewin said…
Joe Plaidman is on
a mission. A mission to
locate the exit.
Jacques Doucheteau said…
Dan puts on a stiff
upper lip, it’s the only
thing he can get stiff.
The Dude said…
Three hotts that look like
Ariella Ferrera!?
Tool-Bag will get ditched.
Pre-Emptive Fraiku
Awright, ye miscreants…I’ma be traveling to Sacramento this week so I am posting this gem early, and will pick them what win teh interwebs around Sunday night or so, depending on airport free wi-fi and/or how many baby Jack Daniels I consume en route back home…so have at:
Begone, Sanskrit Douche!
Holly Hunter Hardbody
And Mons Bridge beckons…
Party in Vegas,
Family crest, man-faced
hottie, life is good.
She eats Red Lobster
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Building a Mons Bridge
Without a future is quite
Common in Vegas
Tatt says “Objects look
bigger when drunk” that’s why Chaz
is always hammered.
How badass is he?
He only cried a little
while getting tattooed
If his fingers squeeze her
any harder, will perform
appendectomy!
Yummie Mons and boobs;
too bad she doesn’t notice
the ‘bag stuck to her
Script on upper pec
States, “If found unconscious, please
“Use some vaseline”
Her glittery cans
can’t distract from… did you say
something? Because, ABS.
Crest of the famed Von
Scrote clan. Dishwashers to the
Royal Family
Ice Man and Maverick
bury the hatchet after
surgery success.
How badass is he?
Mom matched swimsuit to DoucheWatch,
Paid for this hooker
She kind of looks like
An Alpha-female with the
Rabid Badger face.
***Rabbi’s Badger? -D.S.***
Rabid Badger Face
Was punk band I managed in
1982
Rabid Badger face
always results from surprise
anal, without lube.
His family crest
is a head in a golf bag
on a sunken chest
His hard, icy glare
Belies the fact that inside
he just shit his pants
