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Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Friday Thoughts n' Links
DarkSock here, for a pensive Friday Thought and Links. Son.
Pensive, because, y’know, we’re fortunate to live here, in 2005, in a prosperous country protected against greedy f*ck-society me-first sociopath bankers that would, if left to their own devices, destroy the world economy. A country free from the e’er present threats of the world’s avowed anarchists.
No…ours is a country filled with unsung and selfless heroes. Such as Plinky’s Mom, who donated the trimmings from her labiaplasty for Lindsey Lohan’s lip reconstruction. (*YOBBITA-YOBBITA-YOBBITA-PHRAPPPFTH*)
A country where we are free from dilution by illegal aliens. (*AKK! AKKK AKKKK AKKK!*)
Where red-blooded U.S. men can do what they wish with their Best Girl. Unless a sign prohibits it. But you can always try and get her to see things your way.
Butt enough…let’s now see things OUR way:
Volleyball Bonanza Featuring The Holy White Pixel.
Unintentional Digital Man Pear That Jacques Doucheteau Would Prolly Still Hit. No Homo. Son.
Bulbous Bunny Booty Boner batin’ Pear.
Beloved Bulbous BeachBall I’m Starting To Get Kinda Drunk n’ Horny and Need to Go Do Somethin’ Pear.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005Friday Haiku 2005
The DoucheBag evolves;
Lurches forth on its flippers-
“Hey, Babes…want a drink?”
Sunday, January 9, 2005In a continuing series…
Caption THIS unfortunate Venn Diagram of a coupling between a standard issue ‘bag and an out-of-it female of the opposite persuasion.
And by “opposite persuasion” I mean non-lucid and incapable of self-directed motor function.
Sunday, January 9, 2005In a continuing series…
Caption THIS unfortunate Venn Diagram of a coupling between a standard issue ‘bag and an out-of-it female of the opposite persuasion.
And by “opposite persuasion” I mean non-lucid and incapable of self-directed motor function.
Sunday, January 9, 2005Caption This
Well…this oughta be fun…
Sunday, January 9, 2005Caption This
Well…this oughta be fun…
Saturday, January 8, 2005Limerick Hoe-Down o' the Week
Trish was the Copperest-Copper there was,
She set Lance’s young loins all a-buzz;
But she had no Brazilian,
Had pubes by the trillion,
Lance found why her nickname’s “The Fuzz“.
What? What’s that? You think YOU can do better? Well, that’s why we have us a comments section here. Son. Have at!
Saturday, January 8, 2005Limerick Hoe-Down o' the Week
Trish was the Copperest-Copper there was,
She set Lance’s young loins all a-buzz;
But she had no Brazilian,
Had pubes by the trillion,
Lance found why her nickname’s “The Fuzz“.
What? What’s that? You think YOU can do better? Well, that’s why we have us a comments section here. Son. Have at!
Saturday, January 8, 2005Friday thoughts and links. Son.
DarkSock here again, as DB1 continues on his epic walk-about of self-discovery. As you can see below, I’ve been very busy. My alliance with DB1, as his sidekick, has yielded many fruits from our unholy alliance. We’ve made great leaps, with you, the alert readers of this site, in the e’er-raging fight against our foes.
But we still strive to hone our writing skills. For example, our crack team here recognizes that you sad bastards get most of your breaking news from this site – and we aim to deliver. For example – that missing airliner? Our insiders tell us that this tragedy was an act of douchebaggery – namely the incessant desire to tweet selfies at all costs. If this is true, these guys are the first pilots sucked off on a flight deck since the swingin’ 70’s.
But you’re not here to peruse odd goings-on, are you? You’re not interested in the strange ways people perish. No. Let us speak of the gorillaphant in the room. You’re here to ogle hott nekkid ladies. Well…nearly nekkid ladies.
Well, then enough hurling our collective poo in a rage.
For this very special Friday, we will focus – per alert reader Vin Douchal – on ABstinance. The opposite o’ pear. We love both, as much as this guy hates Lamp. Enjoy.
GLORIOUS SWEATY UNDER-BOOB ABS. SON.
Very Expensive First Date Abs.
Someone just got a Brazilian Abs.
Een Soviet Russia Abs Crunch YOU.
I Left My Husband And Took His Stuff Abs.
If Michael Jackson Were A Skinny White Chick – Oh, Wait, He Was Abs.
Time To Back Off On The Testosterone Abs.
I Wouldn’t Mind Getting Stuck on THIS Bridge for 5 Hours…Son…Abs.
Friday, January 7, 2005Friday Haiku – early edition
As Bobby Largeman
Looked on in disdain, he thought
“Those damned Harkonnens…”
March Madness is here!
World’s shortest power forward,
drives hard to the rim.
— hermit
Baby Beluga
In the deep blue pants, tries to
flip-her, towards Willy.
— Charles Douchewin
He doesn’t wear socks
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
lube and beer in hand
awaiting the gyroscope
shit is getting real
— Dickie Fingers
How low can they go?
Morals, self respect & shame
Puddle ‘ponst the floor.
— Crucial Aloysius Head
Nobody wants to
see “Midget Mike” get naked.
Cheer for death instead.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Having a damaged
Chromosome won’t keep us from
Making fun of you
— DoucheyWallnuts
