Wednesday, February 23, 2005
fRIDAY HAIKU
Joo dare look at Bro?
Joo suffer d’ Roundhouse keek
From deez roho pants!
Charles Douchewin said…
TongueHolio leers.
Like a persistent Sleestak,
he appears – again.
A man looks into
The abyss long enough, he
Turns into Joo Bro.
Magnum Douche P.I. said…
Donkey Douche’s little
bro Ferret Douche. Half the size,
still a full-on tool.
Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said…
Roho’s anger rises
as he is unable to
raise Roho Jr.
DoucheyWallnuts said…
How big’s the Snapper
On a little person Bleeth?
This guy will find out
What’s black and white and
red all over? My eyes. From
looking at this douche!
TongueHolio leers.
Like a persistent Sleestak,
he appears – again.
Roho pants just found
a large surprise in her shorts
it makes him tingly.
A man looks into
The abyss long enough, he
Turns into Joo Bro.
Dark Sock hates us. No
One partakes in Haiku since
Front page gyroscope.
Donkey Douche’s little
bro Ferret Douche. Half the size,
still a full-on tool.
Tatttoo under eye
makes statement to the world, yo!
He has killed his soul.
Zaftig Zoe says
I always fall for a guy
with matching pants / hat
“Something is wrong with
this one” thinks Roho as he
goes for reach-around.
Roho’s anger rises
as he is unable to
raise Roho Jr.
Roho is embarrassed
by pants showing”heavy flow
day”. Needs a tampon.
Everybody has
Something to hide except for
Her and her Monkey.
Roho is thinking
she may be overweight, but
he’s got a chubby
GBD on hat
The good, the bad, the douchey
Mostly just douchey
Nice teeth. In lieu of
Blowjob, I’d rather jerk off
With rough sandpaper
Nancy Dreuche is back on the other side with her goitres , prolapse And hunchback . You are a cunt nancy
All these anons are Nancy, Rev. She likes to be clever and act like she’s from Australia or elsewhere, but certain nuances and the familiar blather are unmistakable. Which reminds me of my days in junior high in Buffalo, New York. It was the early seventies, Buffalo was a severely depressed rust belt city and the Junior High and High School were merged due to budget restraints. The result was an overcrowded shithole with dark hallways and a poorly-paid, indifferent teaching staff.
The Gym teacher was Mr. Fiegel, a WW2 vet with a crew-cut, large biceps and a latent homosexual. There were a few special education students who took gym class with us, who’d been left back so many times they were allowed to address Mr. Fiegel simply as “Fiegel.”
Fiegel liked to fuck with the retards. One time he handed one of them a yellow, sixteen pound shot-put telling him it was a grapefruit he’d brought back from Florida. Of course it dropped through the unfortunate kid’s hands and hit the floor with a thud and causing a roar of laughter from the rest of us. The poor fellow looked at us, bewildered, and said, “That’s not a grapefruit, Fiegel!” More laughter.
There was an ancient, indoor natatorium in the school, probably built sometime in the early sixties. The entire pool, deck and walls were lined with dingy, white tiles. The natatorium was windowless and poorly-lit and kept at a temperature around sixty degrees F to save on heating costs, the water seemed barely above freezing. We were young boys around twelve years of age and were forced to swim, once a week, naked. We were told this was necessary, as there was no way to dry bathing suits, but I think Fiegel got off on seeing a bunch of nervous, naked schoolboys with tiny, pre-pubescent dicks shriveled and shivering against the cold. It was a humiliating, emasculating experience.
One of the special students was named Bloom. Bloom must have been around seventeen because he had fully-developed genitals complete with thick pubes, chest hair and a stubble of whiskers. He had the protruding eyebrows of an early Cro-Magnon man and delighted in trying to drown the rest of us during free-swim. If we tried to save ourselves by scrambling out of the pool, Fiegel would yell at us and force us back in while laughing hysterically.
There is no point to this disturbing story, except Mr. Fiegel is dead by now, spinal meningitis is a bitch and Bloom is probably working in Washington on some budget committee.
Beautiful story. I had decent vets in high school. It was the frustrated Nursing Sisters (respect ) that beat the guilt into me in Catholic school previously that have allowed me to wallow yay so long Son. Good times.
Bring on the Revolution
Dwarfs are people too
And people deserve the Mock
Like this ugly Bleeth
Would you bang a Dwarf
If she was a pig like this
If no one found out?
How big’s the Snapper
On a little person Bleeth?
This guy will find out
A midget tranny
Couldn’t harvest my renoB
With a face like that
Welcome back Nancy
Fro pick in background
Is most interesting thing
In this photograph
Sock, Pick a winner
Or this will be last Haiku
Last Haiku, I says
Hermit, I though you grew up in NJ.
^Nancy,
Kittery, ME
Nutley, NJ
Lake Hiawatha, NJ
Livingston, NJ
Jamaica, NY
Buffalo, NY
Westfield, IN
Louisville, KY
Anniston, AL
Panama Canal Zone
Leesville, LA
Ft. Worth, TX
Los Angeles, CA
And currently growing and blossoming in Jerkwater, IN. Every stop along the way has filled me with childlike wonder, and sometimes I rub olive oil on my nipples and have gaseous bowel movements. I’m now looking into a Lifestyle Lift so I can live forever in blissful utopia.
.
I’m 56, but nobody has to know.
She needs to get back
To Loompa Land for bed check
Or Wonka gets pissed
Depending on the time frame, Hermit and I could have crossed paths.
Her paunchy mid drift
Is no doubt the result of
Being three feet tall
DW.
Lived in Jersey from 1960-1967. I went to school in Livingston, NJ with George Costanza in ’65 or so. Those Jews made us sing songs about dradles and shit. but they ran a helluva school system.
Ah, Hermit, for a while I was having visions that we met someplace on the playgrounds of Livingstein/Nutley-proper in the early 70s…or Jamaica Queens in the late 60s….
May have passed you on the Geo. Washington bridge as you were fleeing Queens and I was leaving Jersey. I used to steal candy bars in Greco’s Drug Store on McClellan Ave.
I was born in Jerkwater IN (Fort Wayne) and lived in Lake Hiawatha for about a year in the 80’s. We are about the same age. I’m definitely not Nancy.
@ DW
.
Here’s the answer to you snapper haiku:
.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2129534-giant-cubera-snapper-caught-in-alabama-crushes-state-record-by-32-pounds?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial&hpt=hp_t5