Sunday, March 13, 2005
Friday Haiku
Kyle can’t see Jen’s face
As he stares up through her boobs;
He’s not complaining…
Hot Chicks With Douche Bags
PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS WITH TOTAL AND COMPLETE DOUCHEBAGS. WITH COMMENTARY.
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Hall of Mock
- Pfah
- DarkSock
- Baron Von Goolo
- Troy Tempest
- Steve L
- Wheezer
- Medusa Oblongata
- creature
- Crucial Head
- Mr. White
- Archidoucheis
- Mr. Biggs
- Vin Douchal
- Sergeant Scrote Stain
- boatbutter
- Captain Bringdown
- Whoop-di-douche
- Jacques Doucheteau
- massengill
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
- Mr. Scrotato Head
- Deltus
- The Reverend Chad Kroeger
- mr.reeve
- Wedgie
- Et Tu Douche?
- Eliza Douchcoo
- dbBen
- soy bomb
- DoucheyWallnuts
- I R A Darth Aggie
- jonezy
- Hermit
- Chris in ‘Baghdad
- Douchble Helix
- the douche is alright
- Choad the Douche Sprocket
- Stephanie
- The Dude
- Dude McCrudeshoes
- Sir David Douchenborough
- Il Douché
- Bag A
- douche equis
- Capt. James T. Douche
- Charles Nelson Douchely
- THEONETRUEDOUCHE
- Merle Baggard
- ehcuodouche
- Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
- Charles Douchewin
- FredN.
- Ol' Dirty Douchebag
- In memoriam: bcs
-----------
When the lights went on
Gene Simmons without makeup
Made Kyle vomit
“That sure is one huge
tranny” thought the guy in the
white shirt behind it
Sign of the Bag on
her fivehead gives it away
She’s a f’ing dude
Zipper pockets mark
Where Young Frankensteinette has
Her Thigh Vaginas
.
Thigh Vaginas, I says
So many Trannies
So little time. Kyle
Has his hands quite full
Her belly scar marks
Where her Gyroscope came out
Monkeyhole below
Hector’s head keeps beat
like a metronome after
bouncing off fun bags.
Hector listens to
ticking of plastic surgeon’s
Rolex. Time to go?
Given the chose of
looking at her face or boobs
boobs win every time
Hector suffers neck
strain as he tries to pull head
from smeg-stained pillows.
The Packers could have
used “her” to slow down Marshawn
Lynch in last night’s game
Is this what happens
when two bros go to Stockholm
and just one returns?
How many gallons
of wapatui would it
take take to do her sons?
^ How about just one take asshole….. Yeesh!
Ebola Virus
Would be preferable to
Sleeping with this Bleeth
This is what happened
When Sasquatch impregnated
Cher in the 80s
If ISIS tried to
Behead this Bleeth-hemoth they’ll
Need a bigger sword
.
Too soon?
This big Injun’ chick
Can eat four or five sticks of
Land o’ Lakes Butter
Shep Proudfoot’s sister
An asset in the garage
Lifts cars without jack
Clicked on the picture.
Larger size photo much worse.
Like acid in eyes!
This native woman
Escorted Lewis and Clark:
“Sack-a-potatoes”
Chief Bromden’s sister
Can play a mean game of hoops
Breaks backboard like Shaq
With ear in cleavage
If Miguel listens closely
Can hear the ocean
Really a sad thing.
She lost her newborn first child
In her cleavage………son
He’s all like: “Whatevz!”
But like the dozens before:
it ends in Snu Snu.
Just name them “ThaiMex”:
his bunghole takes a lickin’,
“she” keeps on dickin’.
I think that’s the chick
That wants to have threesome with
Me, ‘Two Dogs Banging.’
She went Amazon
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Brula, Queen of the
Minivan. Two in the front
Five in the back, Son.
I puts the giant
In the basket, or it gets
The Hose. The Brula Hose.
Louis and Clark find
The great divide. Brula’s
Ham lips. Catch smallpox.
Pocahontas Great
Grandaughter, ‘Grand Tetons; wears
Her name on her chest.
Watch out for airborne
Cat with Peter Pan clothes. I
Can see it! Can you?
It tilts the head or
it gets the hose. “Her” big stiff
purple veiny hose
A Club Queen by night
Defensive lineman by day
She loves to get sacks
I see this picture
And think to myself I am
Glad I don’t know them
She’s the absolute
Worst excuse for a bottle
Rat I’ve ever seen!
She won first place
In the helicoptering
Tranny contest later
Her Queefs render flesh
With their caustic aroma
And that’s before sex
Pimples on her ass
Have their own Zip Code and are
Seen on Google Earth
Her Meat Curtains
Need to be folded like flag
For her to wear pants
Her Fallopian
Tubes are used as water slides
In Seaside Heights, Jerz
When the Mayans catch
Brula, her skull will be fleshed
And turned to punch bowl.
Having never birthed
The papoose, Brula’s vag still
Tight for Kyle’s pin head.
Mohawks ready for
War. Brula keeps war chest in
Chest. Cooties in quim.
The Cowboys defense
Could really use Brula to
Stop Niners run game
I wish seventh grade
Brula was touring Cantor
Fitzgerald that day.
.
She could have caught the
Second plane in ham hanger
And saved day for all.
Picture from movie
“Brula the Barbarian:
Legend of The Bleeth”
Brula and Hector
steal car air bags. Stop for drink
before chop shop stop.
The future is now.
Hector gets own zeppelin ride
around shitty club.
Why didn’t Brula
take plastic surgeon’s advice
and get face done too?
There’s no sign on her
that says “You must be this tall
to drink from milk jugs.”
Can anyone guess
what Brula has in pockets?
haiku answers sons.
Let me be first one:
Blue waffles, Vagisil, and
Hector’s cover charge.
Fake pockets! Behind
zippers are revealed o’ergrown
Bush! Cellulite thighs!
I’m down to a single bowel movement a week ’cause I eat only expired, carcinogeous beef from the discount cooler at WalMart and stale rye bread. But it’s all good. Unless Vince Foster’s killer comes forward, the Old Cow will be elected in ’16 by the welfare recipients and convicted felons. Putin will then be free to slow-con his way across Europe while the Mooslims enact Sharia law in Detroit.
I’ll be moving to Känädä where I can get free medical attention and maple syrup and shit and hook up with a large-boned indigenous woman like the delicate angel pictured above.
.
The haiku format is no longer required after mid-week.
.
Medical fact.
Hey Hermit. Lots of Mooslims up here too. Not in my hood though.’
.
Brula likes to get
Elevator whacked and dragged face
First NFL style.
.
Political Murder Victims
And out free medical care actually costs the average working family $8,000 of taxes.
.
Good weed and horse though.
Hey Hermit! Send me an email address to reverendchadkroeger1@gmail.com. Son.
Where have you gone Sully Sullenburger you magnificent basterd pilot. I salute you again you emnifiscent Jew. A hero for the age. Not ages, Sonsters. Stoooooooned.
.
Who killed Karen Carpenter anyway.
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icDlp_Ry878
.
‘Ru Paul’s Drag Race. Sucka. ‘
.
Mulattoos
^I’m glad they had subtitles in that video.
.
“Who killed Karen Carpenter?”…After all, it was you and me……..and malnutrition.
.
Weed and horse is OK, but as long as you ‘all have socialism, Jim Beam and Adderall up there Rev, I’m in.
^ It’s cold up here, Hermit. Really, Really Goddamn Cold. And expensive.
.
Last winter, I cashed out my salary and burned it for heat.
.
Which is pricey, because the lowest CND is a $5. Loonies and Toonies are hard to light.
But it was still cheaper than electric, gas, or firewood.
.
I would’ve used the R0Gers/Robbers Network to call friends in the states for help. But to afford the call, I’d have been cold for a month.
.
$Fact$
When sharia law comes broads will be all hairy and smelly down below. A mooslim snapper all covered up in all a that fabric on a hot day ain’t no sight to behold.
.
That Burpa thing-a-ma-bob they make them broads wear is gross like a nuns habit uniform thing.
Those goat-eyed bitches peering out from behind a burka scare the shit out of me.
Yep Charles, Florida in January/February is full of Canucks fleeing the icy grip of the harsh,Canadian winter. They’re even invading the Gulf Coast now. Might have to rethink my post-Amerikä strategy.
.
Damn snowbirds.
***DarkSock*** – Did he say “Goat-eyed bitches”? Yessssss…that’s what i’m talkin’ bout
Wee dude with proud score
Love child of Baba Yaga
And a shorn Yeti
Giantess plucks brows
Crews bring street lines painting trucks
Then install speed bumps
You’ll all regret it, but the phrase “shorn Yeti” reminded me of this horseshit.
.
Jacques pukes in 3, 2, 1…
.
.
.
.
Neanderthal genomes
^ I figure anything with an opposable thumb is fair game. But, covered with pimples? That’s where I draw the line.