Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Borat says "He is, how you say, Scrote."

Forgot to include a pic with UCJC’s request to have his pic taken down, so instead I’ll post a pic of Borat from his upcoming movie. This flick is officially “the only movie DB1 is so excited about he might even sober up before seeing it.”

no more UCJC

UCJC writes in:

Can you please removed my pics from your site?……funny though!!

Mangina

In knighting this douchebag “Mangina” it wasn’t any literal attribute that brought him his moniker, it was simply the sum of his parts.

His orange leather skin. His coral necklace. His white teeth. His silk shirt with cryptic alien patterns on it. And of course the fact he’s with a scrumptuous after dinner mint.

Add it up and he’s Mangina. And really, isn’t that just the perfect nickname for this oily bohunk?

EuroBag #423

Between Sven and this pale Dieter looking douchebag, we seem to have hit a pocket of EuroBags lately during our HCwD digging. Here he is infecting two of the tastier cuts of blonde featured on the site of late. Rumor has it one (or both) are Playboy playmates.

Nothing says scrote more than, when given the chance to embrace a playmate or two, making sure you clutch a used napkin and nearly spill a beer on their shoulder.

This wank kind of reminds me of the tall dude in “Fargo.” The blondes remind me simply that I suck. That I’m sitting here on my dirty carpet, hung over, with sixteen Glinty heads dancing around my peripheral vision. Stupid Night Train. Maybe I should go back to bed.

UCJC

PIC DELETED
One of the rarer members of the ‘Bag genus is the douchey hitchhiker knob. Key identification factors for this type of ‘bag are not only the various hitchhiking douchebag hand gestures, the classic ‘Bag Head Butt seen here, but one of the rarest of all ‘bag attributes: Upturned Crew Jacket Collar.

Like many douchebag diseases, Upturned Crew Jacket Collar (UCJC) receives scant attention from the mainstream press. There are no Jerry Lewis telethons to treat UCJC. No “give a quarter” kiosks at the local deli. No pleas from Sally Struthers to help “turn down the collars of the less fortunate.” Yet it is a plague that affects us all.

Won’t you contribute to the cause?

Do you part by smacking scrotes like this the next time you see one.

Double Pink

Okay, I’m scrounging for pics because I just flew back from NYC and have a huge backlog of emails. So if you sent in a pic far better than this one and are thinking, “That hottie-douchey combo isn’t remotely the head exploding hottie-douchey combo in the pic I sent in!” hold your water. I’ll get to it.

First things first. A little Night Train to take the edge off the ole’ JetBlue JFK-to-Burbank jaunt. There were even a few L.A. douchebags on the flight swarming their Reese Witherspoon looking hotties like they’d just caught a delicious bass. I wonder if I tossed a can of Tag Bodyshots into the forward cabin if I’d have started a riot.

Sven

Laugh it up, Sven. That silk aqua-blue shirt shows off your hairless chest in oh so sexy a way. Your John Denver charm is a hit with the ladiez in Amsterdam. You go with your Danish self!

And remember grasshoppers, if the Holy Cleavite speaks to you, you’re not crazy. You’ve reached enlightenment.

The Scrambler

Hoo boy, where to start, where to start…

The 163 degree hat. Scrote Boy here couldn’t content himself for the lesser degrees on the Douchebag Hat Tilt. No simple 10 degree or 90 degree functionality for this picnic table shirt wearing, dimple douched ‘bag ghoul. Nope. He’s got higher scrote heights to scale.

Blonde on the right sort of scares me in that Darryl Hannah “I will break you” way, but cotton candy on the left is just all sorts of sweet taffy popcorned goodness. I can’t tell whether I want to jump on her or tuck her into bed after reading “Good Night, Moon.”

Hoops

Nothing says “NBA” like a shaved headed 5’4″ psycho-killer wannabe. Besides, that jersey doubles as a mumu dress. Nothing wrong with 2-for-1 savings on clothing purchases.

The DB1 could’ve played in the NBA. I was thisclose. All I needed was to be a foot taller and know how to play basketball. Other than that, I was on the verge. Just like Hoops here.

The dark haired beaut on the left has one of the perkiest bodies I’ve ever seen. It’s practically saluting. And while the Tori Spelling looking chicka on the right may not blow you out of the water, never underestimate the power of legs that fantastic. Blazers Boy wouldn’t know what hit him.

Puffyshirt McGrease

This is just so very, very wrong.

Like when your Uncle Frank would come over and stare at your 10th grade sister’s training bras hanging on the back line, wrong.

Look at this perv’s cat-that-ate-the-hottie expression. He knows he’s scrote. And yet he’s won.