Pepe's Mustache: The Interview
Pepe knows what the ladies want. Pepe knows how to accent his head with the appropriate positioning of sunglasses. Pepe digs on the two toned suit with matching vest. Pepe is a sexual mustachioed dynamo.
And now, for the first time here on HCwD, Pepe’s Mustache is speaking out. In a rare interview, DB1 had the chance to sit down with Pepe’s Mustache and ask it a few questions:
DB1: So, Pepe’s Mustache…
Pepe’s Mustache: Yes! Challo!
DB1: What’s it like perching on the face of a midget scrote?
Pepe: Well it’s no so easy, let me tell you. I have to make up for the lack of hair on the head, you know? And that’s a lot of pressure for a mustache! Even one as sexually magnetic as myself.
DB1: I understand. So what kind of adventures do you and Pepe get into?
Pepe’s Mustache: Oh we have lots of fun! We sit around and watch T.V. And sometimes Pepe drinks a Corona and gets little bits of beer foam stuck in me. We laugh and laugh about it for hours on end!
DB1: That does sound hilarious. What else?
Pepe’s Mustache: Well, sometimes Pepe like to eat soup, and that’s no fun, let me tell you. All sorts of goo gets stuck in me and it takes me hours before I lose the smell.
DB1: That’s really sort of gross.
Pepe’s Mustache: You have no idea.
DB1: So tell me about the hotties. How do you work with Pepe to overcome them with your douchey powers?
Pepe’s Mustache: Oh, it is easy. We go to where they must embrace us and take a picture because they are getting paid to do it!
DB1: That is clever.
Pepe’s Mustache: Yes thank you. We know.
DB1: Any advice to fellow Mustache ‘Bags out there?
Pepe’s Mustache: Rock on, fellow ‘staches! Pepe and I will see you at the next public event where attractive women are paid to pose with us.
DB1: Thanks for the interview, Pepe’s Mustache. You take care.
Pepe’s Mustache: Shave me. Please. Just shave me. Put me out of my misery. I beg of you.
DB1: Sorry… I gotta go…
Pepe’s Mustache: At least comb me! I lied. It is not all fun and games and sexual pleasure. Pepe neglects me. You have no idea. It is a sad life I lead. Please to do something!
DB1: Thank you for your time, Pepe’s Mustache.
