HCwD of the Week: Spanky
It was a tough vote this week, almost too tough, as all four candidates were douchey/hottie exemplars. But thanks to a late surge, Spanky, or Arther Ashe Douche, managed to take the crown, thanks largely to the power of his hottie’s hotness and his own “costume party” going on at a non-costume party.
And those boobages. Mui buono.
As the prolific and omnipresent anonymous put it:
Any douche that shaves – then oils down – his legs leaves no room for douche competition. I don’t care if it is a costume party. Not to mention tasty Scandinavian sweet tart w/milky way cleavite showing…I’d like to lead a Major Tom to that galaxy of goodness.
Nicely put, Anon. count douchula explains the dilemma:
This was a VERY tough contest this week. #3 and #4 are really close. Both are so douchey that it makes my head want to explode Scanner style, but in the end I’m gonna have to go with #4 Arthur Ash Douche. Here is my analysis: First, hottie in the picture is DAMN FINE. I would swim through shark infested waters with a chum bucket tied around my waste just to get to eat her nail clippings. Second, it has been mentioned that this is a costume party, which I can understand because this douche appears to be in costume. Thing is nobody else is wearing a costume. This leads me to one of two conclusions: Either this guy actually dresses like this or he decided to wear a costume to a non-costume party. Either way this makes him a major douchebag. Plus I’m jealous that he’s getting to spank that hottie with a tennis racket.
#3, “Classic Poo,” came in a close second. We may need to raise his jersey in the Hall of Scrote at some point simply on his own merits. Or as Douchestar Runner puts it:
Now–Classic Poo. A photo I wish I could say I found myself. This dude is like a douche archetype, a character you think only exists in literature or the movies or perhaps a Bon Jovi video circa 1988 . And here he is in the flesh, on some perfect picturesque California beach. I have a hard time comprehending that this is a real person and not a dude paid to dress up in a theme park or something, or some supreme douche-being that mistakenly got zapped over to our world on his motorcycle from an alternate douchiverse. Because dudes like this don’t really exist, do they?? I guess that’s what it looks like here, though. The chicks are not the greatest, not as hot as Spanky’s girl (oh I wish that I had Spanky’s girl!) but just fine and wearing some classy dresses as well as smiles that let you know they’re thinking “holy crap, is this guy for real?”
Well said, D.R. It may be time for a doucho-a-doucho showdown next week. Yup, a “HCwD of the Month” face off. That’s gonna be a smackdown of epic proportions. In the meantime, I smell like sewage so am off to take a shower.
