The Helmet
There are douchebags. There are uber-douchebags. There’s Pat. And there’s Helmet. Helmet performs the Triple Lindig of douche, engaging in ‘bag hand gesture #17, ‘bag face gesture #4, and ‘bag mouth toothpick variation #A53. Toss in douche glasses and only the lack of popped collar prevents scrote orbit from being achieved.
Oh yeah. I forgot.
The hottie. Who is super smoking fantastalicious. I know what you’re thinking. “DB1 said this about other hotties.” And I have. And I will again.
And I’m saying it now.
I would scramble eggs on her stomach, and make a pot of chai tea. She is butter stick hot. Pancakes sexy.
Mmm… time to hit up Ihop for the rutty tooty fresh and fruity. Yup. My life is pathetic.