Petey the Bartender
Bartenders, or as I like to call them, “Walking V.D.,” spend their lives serving drinks and going home with whatever’s leftover at the end of the night. Not that there’s anything wrong with that in theory. It’s the red-cap white-muscle bling look that renders ‘bag status. As a result we need a special sub-category of ‘bag for the bartender scrote. “Bartendouche,” “‘tenderizers” or maybe just “Your Lousy-Ass Band Didn’t Get a Record Deal and This Scotch has Too Much Ice, Douchebag.” Yeah, I like that one. Nice bling, ‘tender, and tell “Shii” to stop writing on your shirt.
I haven’t quite figured out what this new trend of ribbon hair with the hotties is, but I kinda like it. It’s sort of like hooking up with a Mayfair Pole. Also the trend to wear guy’s white muscle t-shirts gives the DB1 a terrible case of happy pants. For the douchebag in the middle, not so much.
