A Post for the Soldiers
I’ve gotten a bunch of emails from soldiers over in Iraq and Afghanistan over the last few months telling me how much they enjoy the site and check it everyday. It’s hard for me to think of what to say to that since I’m a half-drunk douchebag whose greatest sacrifice to this country is taking out my trash on time, so I usually just want to STFU lest I embarrass myself. But the truth is, if I’m making you guys laugh over there, even for a minute, long enough to forget where you are and remember all the hotties and douchebags over here that you’re fighting for, then I’m honored and humbled.
So I post this pic for you guys. The place in that pic is reserved for you when you get home.
I want you to stay safe, stay positive, and get yer ass back home safe and sound so you too can be in one of these pics.
I’ll make a deal with you. You get home from your tour and bust out there in the clubs and snag a hottie, take a pic and send it in and I’ll run it as proof that the hotties can indeed be rescued from the ‘bag plague. And if you’re going to be over there for awhile, no rush, the hotties who need saving will still be here waiting for you to get back home to rescue ’em from the scrote.
Especially you Captain M.E. in Afghanistan, who wrote me last month. Get yer butt back here and send me a pic of you in the “other” field. I want to see you roust up a few hotties and bust ‘bag hand gesture #52.
If you’re a female soldier over there, get back here so you can slap around your fellow hotties and keep them away from the greasy ‘bags who keep swarming them.
You guys need to stay safe on the front lines and remember that the douchebag plague is polluting America as we speak, so we need you to get yer ass back here safe and sound so you can help save the hotties before it’s too late.
Hang in there guys. My thoughts are with you, and I toast a red cup of Night Train in your honor today. You guys are my heroes.
