Thursday, March 15, 2007
Arty McTardy
All I know is Kelly Osborne’s let herself go to hell since that show went off the air. Here she is rubbing up and down on a sweet spongecake who may or may not be in high-school, so I will refrain from any lascivious comments and simply say “nice cans.” Because I’m classy that way.
As to this Black Sabbath of douchitude, I would take Arty McTardy out back and read him passages from The Bell Jar until he Cobained himself.
Then I’d fly off to Antwerp, where I would study 17th Century Flemish folk dancing for six months. Upon the date of these two cuties turning eighteen I would fly back to the States, read them Tolstoy, and nuzzle their feet while spanking myself with a rubber ping pong paddle.
