Purple Pez Bag
I wasn’t aware pez dispensers were now scoring hotties. I would shove a grape pellet down his guzzle, then sell him in the 50% off bin at Wallmart.
Long Island hottie’s Holy Cleavite sparkles with the merest glimpse of pale skin straining to be set free. I can hear the Holy Cleavite, whispering to me on the wind.
I rub the Holy Cleavite, and a Holy Cleavite Genie appears in front of me.
It says:
DB1, nuzzle me with your nose while you make weird hiccuping sounds, and I will grant you three boobie wishes. They’re like regular wishes, only they involve the power of the boobies.
And I wish for Purple Pez Bag to fall face first on a lawn dart then get eaten by mutated piranha in the east river.
But these are only boobie wishes. And since this wish doesn’t involve boobies, it doesn’t come true. So I wish for more boobies instead. And there are more boobies.
And life is good.
