Sulu
I know what you’re thinking. See the Asian guy, go for the Sulu reference. But that’s not why I’m knighting Douche Sulu here with his moniker. Okay, yes it is partially why. But it’s also due to that disturbingly mutant “Shocker” gesture.
It’s the official Douche Vulcan “live long and rub up against hotties” gesture. And for that alone, Douche Sulu earns a place at the ‘bag table.
Exactly who is D.S. planning to “shock” with that gesture? Has Douche Sulu even seen a cervix before? Perhaps he parallels the real Sulu in more ways than one.
Chocolate Luv is an absolute milkshake of sweet perfection. Her perky hint of boobage goodness and plump shoulder send my spine into shivers of revelatory anticipation. Either that or I stepped on a fork.
