Scabies
What is scabies?
Scabies is an infestation of the skin with the microscopic mite Sarcoptes scabei. Infestation is common, found worldwide, and affects people of all races and social classes. Scabies spreads rapidly under crowded conditions where there is frequent skin-to-skin contact between people, such as in hospitals, institutions, child-care facilities, and nursing homes.
How did I get scabies?
By direct, prolonged, skin-to-skin contact with a douchebag already infested with scabies. Contact must be prolonged (a quick handshake or hug will usually not spread infestation). Infestation is easily spread to sexual partners and household members. Infestation may also occur by sharing clothing, towels, bedding, Jesus Bling, popped collars or hair products.
Who is at risk for severe infestation?
People with weakened immune systems and the elderly are at risk for a more severe form of scabies, called Norwegian or crusted scabies. Hotties who hang out with total and complete douchebags are also prone to exposure.
