The Creeper Fern
One of the harder to grow houseplants is the Scrotsae Mandanus plant, often referred to in common parlance as the “Creeper Fern.”
Creeper Ferns are notoriously fickle plants, requiring lots of grease, gold necklaces and loud eurotrash techno played at ear splitting volume before their Mandanus leaves will flower. Creeper Ferns have been known to easily wilt when laughed at, and quickly dry up when cameras aren’t present.
However a little known trick if you want to get your Creeper Fern to grow large Mandanus leaves is to plant it in an outdoor pool. Simply feed it pink lipped Megaman sunglasses wearing hotness twice a day, and Creeper Fern mandanas will grow to epic size in no time.
To remove your Creeper Fern simply toss a wrapped copy of “Miami Sound Machine’s Greatest Hits” over the neighbor’s fence. Creeper Fern will likely leave in no time, although sweat stains and muscle t-shirt residue may remain behind.
