Honorary Douchebag of the Month: "Mystery" from The Pickup Artist
To all of you ridiculous asswads with your seven point pickup plans and strategeries to “seduce women in sixty seconds,” here’s a clue: you are douche.
You are not stylish. You are scrote.
If you are getting any, it’s simply because your douchebaggery triumphs in a culture gone rot. But what you contribute in polluting the culture with your douchuousness more than denigrates any short term gain in temporary possession of the funbags.
So take your “game,” take your “how to seduce women” seminars, your inane lecture circuits and your seduction websites and stuff them up your designer brand silk shirt, your soul patch and your excessive hair product. You are simply another form of douche: The Gamebag. You sell your warmed over Deepak Chopra by way of Frank T.J. Mackey by the yard and hope for the cable show score before someone realizes what a hacktastic pile of warmed over repackaged New Age “Iron John” regurgitation you really offer.
You get ass? Good for you.
The hotties love you? Congratulations.
You’ve reduced flirtation and the thrills of seduction to a militaristic set of rules, guidelines and psychological manipulation techniques you learned from the Khmer Rouge brainwash techniques of the 1970s Killing Fields? Fantastic.
You are still a raging pile of douche. And all the hotness in the world won’t change that. Because hiding behind the scoring of poonanny is only a temporary fix. The blight of your soul(patch) is forever.
