The Pouch
One of the lesser seen douche categories is the shirtless 1-pack. Or, as I like to call it, “The Pouch.”
Most variations on shirtless douchebaggery involve a four point process of ab revelation. Each stage involves gesturing towards the abs and making various “Woo!” and “Yeah boy!” guttural cries in the hopes of impressing the hottie through the announcing of superior stomach muscular development.
But Pouchbag here is different. Unique. And by unique I mean slovenly douchuous. Pouchbag finds no need to hit the gym. His undeveloped gut and nauseating revelation of pale nether region combine with bling to cauterize infected wounds with the sheer force of scrotebaggery.
Young hotties know not what they do, for the power of the skin pouch has overwhelmed them.
I would love Rosario Dawson hottie with a tub of chicken fat and a bottle of Bosco. For at least a solid twenty three seconds.
