'Bag / Gangsta
Performative douchewank? Or gatt busting homie who will hunt me down, pop a cap in my ass, then eat all my cheerios and leave the fridge door open?
Depending on which way you vote, I’ve provided two alternative commentaries:
A. (performative douchewank) Nice mandana the size of a Buick, tighty-whitey muscle t and douche-bracelet there, Tex. Did the razor get repo’d in mid shave because you forgot to make the payments?
B. (actual gangsta) You are a scholar a gentleman, a benevolent and magnanimous contributor to humanity, kind sir. Thank you for coming to the Pomona fairgrounds, and here’s a free Orange Julius. Please do not pop a cap in my proverbial ass.
Well, douchewank or gangsta, I do know this.
I would love the silver belt buckle and the meaty arm I’d nibble tiny tooth crop circles into that would direct traffic for the alien landings.
