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Late Night Musings

Random thoughts while staring at this bug glasses wearing twaddle-bot:

I would worship the used towels discarded after forty sweaty minutes on the Stairmaster 2000 by that perfectly formed brunette goddess on the left. She is perfection crystallized in immortality.

I would paint abstract art in honor of her lower buttocks, then munch on a fried pigeon to celebrate her feastlyness 11th Century style.

But enough about my future ex-wife that I would love awkwardly and borderline illegally for at least 23 seconds after getting drunk on fermented hops.

Other thoughts:

If you wear socks for more than three days in a row, they smell vaguely like creme brulee. Dipped in ass.

So I’m listening to the legendary Steve Miller Band’s Take the Money and Run on the radio in my car today when it dawns on me. Those quick hand claps that everyone loves? They come at two points in the song:

1. “They headed down to, ooh, oh El Paso” (clap clap clap clap clap)

and:

2. “Billy Mack was a detective down in Texas” (clap clap clap clap clap)

What do both have in common right before the claps? Both mention Texas.

What other song has claps right when they mention Texas? Why it’s “Deep in the Heart of Texas.” Steve Miller’s dropping in a sly reference to the claps that come right after “The Stars at night, they shine so bright” (clap clap clap calp) “deep in the heart of Texas.”

Yeah, I cracked your code Mr. Miller.

Abracadabra, baybee.