Scrubby
Of all the permutations across the wide variety of douchey/hottie subsections, this is one I’m having a hard time categorizing.
Is he douche? Of course. There’s really no debate. But what brand of douchuousness? What flavor of choad?
Scrubby has the intricately carved facial hair of a pampered persian cat’s ass whiskers. He actually sports a pair of pants he cut into shorts complete with dangling pockets, circa 1987.
There’s the douchey tats and the retro sunglasses. So how do we classify Scrubby? This middle aged doughboy confounds.
Is he Oldbag? Clownbag? Suburban Choadbag? Or simply playing douche dress-up to entertain his much younger cutie?
The only thing I can safely conclude is that I would ice-fish for frozen mackerel on a mountain lake using only string, chewing gum and my cunning for bait, just for the chance to lick melting snow off Hottie’s Subaru that won’t start because she forgot to change the oil.
