The Samovar
Here we’ve captured the rare Eastern European Douche in a natural state of repose. The wannabe Prussian Mobster who’s in the gym four days a week and drives a red Mazda Miata he refers to as “his bitch.”
The dude named “Arthur” or “Alex,” who talks with a nondescript Russian accent, and believes he could’ve been the next Jean Claude Van Damme if he didn’t pull that hammy after high school.
Yet here he is, The Samovar, pulling in two sophomore sorority chicks from the local Fashion Institute.
It’s as inexplicable as that smooth and clammy chest he’s revealing.
I would love Aqua’s ample bosoms like a malnourished Nepalese tiger. Named Joe. Who dances with Mowgli to Disney songs during Disney On Ice. And then licks Aqua Hott like a salt lick back in the green room. Because, uhm, I like big boobs. But you probably got that subtext already.
