Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Ricky for Hall of Scrote

My general rule of thumb is if there isn’t an emphatic groundswell for the Hall, the HCwDB couple doesn’t make it in. So the Stereodouchtonic Twins are out.

But due to a long period of devoted fandom for the Rickster’s shimmy, I’m giving Ricky his shot.

However, consider that Ricky’s boogie didn’t even win the Weekly he was in, losing to the Brothabag and Strawberry Shortcake of Velvet Jones.

But that need not matter. For a truly ascendant hottie/douchey pic, and by ascendant I mean ass, can often have a cumulative effect over time.

Does Ricky rise to Hall of Scrote level?

Is his everybag befuddled shimmy the kind of relatable douchebaggery we can all connect to? Is the hott, partially obscured, enough to counter-balance the Ricky Ricky Shake?

Here’s his shot. Ricky for the Hall?

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

Wait a Minute…

Dad??

Shirtdouche Epidemic

Okay, the emerging missing shirt douche look has officially gone from skeezy epidemic to “Punching Myself in the Face with a Tire Iron” critical.

How does this picture happen? Does it make any sense at all?

How does an upscale bar filled with Yuppiebags and Jennifer Aniston in “Office Space” hotts suddenly find a shirtdouche washing up on its shores?

Can someone explain this to me?

And if you can stare at his face for ten seconds without pouring ascorbic acid your computer monitor, you’re a better person than I.

EDIT: Is this thing photoshopped? Any ‘shoppers out there who can tell?

Boris The Skull

I’m not sure that missing bits of your skull like you were snipered with an M-16 while fighting Chechnyan rebels in Groznyy is the studliest look for you, Boris.

I can’t tell whether you’re on a date or searching out a triage unit.

However, your babushka of borsch is a tasty perogy with extra stroganoff.

I would Yakov her Smirnoff then Lenin her Tolstoy. And then I would grab her boobs.

Stars and Stripes

Next on Antiques Roadshow:

A delightful antique wooden chair and table set from the mid 1970s. Rustic charm with a polished New England oak. Just like the one Grandma used to have.

Only wear and tear is the chairs are slightly greased up by a douchey retro couple doing their best karaoke “Afternoon Delight.”

Charlie's Angels

When did college girls start emulating Charlie’s Angels by way of the slutt machine?

And when did fratdouches embrace the trucker mandana + Reservoir Dog tie look?

But most importantly, the female butt rub. It’s like four cantalope halves fighting over a quarter. Good times.

Wonderbag and the Missing "T"

Wonderbag is certainly a doughy breadness of skeeze.

His sullen expression, douched out Wonderbread Yankee cap and covert ‘bag hand gesture all represent. And smiling brunette is the guitar solo fusion sunshine of my love.

But this is one of those pics where something remains unanswered.

A vague question not just of how these two came to cohabitate, but an unfinished sentence of permanent open ended story.

It’s like that elusive “T” when Lady Miss Kier of 1991 One Hit Wonder Deee-Lite sings “Groove is in the Heart.” But she drags out the last word of the chorus, so it sounds like harrrr…

Groove is in the harrrrr… aye yaye yaye yaye… Groove is in the harrrrr…

Where does that “t” go? Did the “t” ever exist? Is the hook of the chorus intentionally delaying the gratification of completion? Is the missing “t” simply part of the musical cadence? Or is it a conundrum? A paradox? A closed loop of impossibility?

For years I’ve wondered what happened to the “t” in “heart” during the chorus of that song.

But then Q-Tip raps.

And all is good again.

The Lonely Pimp

Off by himself. In the distance, a violin plays a solo.

In the corner of the Jacuzz, with only a bottle of cheap champagne to comfort him, while the hotts congregate at the other end of the waterfront.

Feel for the Lonely Pimp.

For it is not easy wearing long shorts, sunglasses, a mandana and a wristwatch into a jacuzzi, only to have your pimp look rejected by the rodeo girls.

But he’s not completely alone.

His #1 Fan salutes his heroism with the One Armed Miller Lite.

99 Douche Balloons

Someone needs to pen a German language 80s synth dance hit to summarize this tragedy right here. And why, exactly, is 99 D.B. crying? Shouldn’t he be playing early Philip Glass harmonics on the six piece butt bongo in front of him?

I’m also pleased to see the Rare Blue Cup make an ethereal appearance.

Stereodouchtonic Picnic

I’m fairly certain these two picnic clowns in classic ‘bag sandwich formation are the Stereodouchtonic twins from last Spring. Also featured here.

Do these douches ever wear shirts?

And is it time to convene the Hall of Scrote Committee to vote on the STD’s worthiness for the Hall?