Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

I Heart Huckabag

And by heart, I mean laugh at.

I’m not sure whether Jason Schwartzbag really annoys on any level, or is just a clown. Then again, white belt.

White belts fray my soul. Like fishermen hunting the coelacanth. It is ancient, and wrong.

But I do love Angular Cheekboned Swede with the power of a Nordic Viking funeral. Yes, her push-up halter top is ill fitting and mushy. But making saline mashed potatoes is not something to be simply dismissed as edgy fusion cuisine from the downtown New York boobie scene.

I present for dessert: The most suckable hip bone on the menu.