Ask DB1: Post-Human Douchery
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DB1,
I recently finished reading ‘The World Without Us,’ a narrative of how the earth could react if all humans disappeared.
Animals would still exist, begging the question, what unexpected creature would then best (or worst) evolve back to homo sapiens douchebagus?
your pal,
jacques doucheau
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In anticipating a post-human evolutionary scenario in which a new form of homo douchebagus would emerge, you have to take a number of factors into account.
Which post-human global climate would most allow animals to begin preening, gelling up their scales/hair/feathers, and macking on the animal hotts?
I sent your question along to Doctor David Tennant at The Research Institute for Animal Douchery. Tennant determined that mating habits of the Kimono Dragon, Australian Douche Dingo and the Ab lobster off the coast of Maine are the three most likely areas for producing a dominant strain of animal douchery in a post-human evolutionary landscape.
But don’t count out the tree frog.
Those are some douchey-ass tree frogs.
