Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Malignant Melanoma

Anyone can develop a malignant melanoma. However, some people are more at risk then others. Risk factors include –

* being a woman (twice as likely to develop malignant melanoma, compared to men)
* having fair skin with lots of freckles
* spending time sunbathing, especially in the tropics
* indoor workers with pale skin, who sit out in strong sunlight during the summer
* episodes of severe sunburn in the past
* having lots of moles on your skin
* other members of your family with skin cancer
* Being a huge mohawked uberdouche who dyes his chin-pubes blond

He Just Bangs Bitches and Makes Girls Say Hello to Their Majesty

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Profile: I’m the s@#t.

Status: is reminiscine about Aug 1 last year when the big bust happend that put his ass in jail…o well…back to the money.
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Yeah I know you’re sick of this guy, but he cracks me the hell up.

Phil is Still White

Phil, no matter how gangsta you try to look, no matter how gangsta you try to be, no matter how many tatts you get, no matter how many hand gestures you make and hats you tilt to 25 degrees, you will never, ever, not be the whitest guy I know.

Farrah has found the perfect place to store her driver’s license. And if I were that license, I would chew like a hungry marsupial jacked on no-doze.

Douchebag Beach

It’s the next best thing to being on the Dirty Jerz shores this weekend. And by best thing, I mean the lip herp.

Jerzey Blue

Thoughts drift through my mind as we collectively spin our global journey into another Friday evening, with Rare-Ass Light Blue Cup shining on in the Dirty Jerz.

What is it with boats and scrotery?

Can stage-3 Bleeths be saved from Wily Mo Playah on the right?

Why is Robert Sean Leonard from Dead poets Society in this pic?

Does soda-water get grease stains out of a frat carpet?

So many thoughts. So little body spray.

Wait. Strike that. Reverse it.

We are the music makers. And we are the dreamers of dreams.

Boatmeal

More boatdouchery.

It’s like when you’re scrolling though cable channels and see Dawn of the Dead is on, and you think to yourself, “Nice! A little George Romero social commentary on late 1970s consumerism!”, only to discover it’s the Dawn of the Dead Remake from 2004, Zack Snyder’s socio-political commentary on quick cuts and yellow lens filters.

What happens when the copy is not only inferior to the original, but supercedes it as the default titular representation?

At that point, there’s only one thing to do. Put on some Skinimax.

Hells yeah, I’m rambling.

That’s what happens when I post from the Boston airport.

Underoos Joe

Lessie…

Complete removal of body hair.
Poppy cactus head.
Greased forehead.
Tighty underoos.
No other clothes of any kind.
Posing for camera “making call”
Bizarre sawed in half tatt.

Bethany may not be the smokingest divet in the woodshed, but I’d still pretend to like her cats just for the opportunity to awkwardly fondle her lower back while she’s novocained during a root canal.

The Nipper

And you thought I’d go easy on you because it’s Friday? Notta chance.

Nice tatt map of Middle Earth, Nipper.

Thankfully, the Iron Cross belt buckle adds that extra touch of class to the ensemble that it needed. Like a snip of parsley on a steak. A really douchey-ass steak.

At first you think wide eyed Swedish Princess is all sorts of take-home-to-meet-mom class. Then you see the pants drop and realize the sheer scrotal power of The Nipster’s presence has forced lower half Bleething to occur.

And yes, she may be preggers. But he’s too hilarious, and it’s Friday, so I’m going with it.

Friday Haiku

Punch-drunk 8-Pak woots.
Ubiquitous Red Cup knows,
blonde wants orange-tee.

Outwardly, douche thinks
Yo! My shirt’s off the hizzle
Inside, yearns for mom.

— crucial head

Local man wants sex
Blonde hot writes home to mother
“The Greek Islands Suck.”

— james

..need smokes now dammit
Uh…uh…crack pipe…uh
Things live in my hair

— amy whinehouse

Blonde hott tentative.
Eyes betray true thoughts tonight:
phone home for a ride?

— anonymous

Up the shirt is raised.
Mechanical abs start the action
Blonde hotty caught in magnetic force

— jfw

How can I haiku?
Emotional scars remain
After Mooby Dick

— sinfonian