New, From Kenner
I can’t tell why this pic unnerves me so.
It’s like my childhood action figures came to life, and one of them turned into an oily, pumped up douchewank.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Where’s the hand gestures? Where’s the overdone tatts? What makes Action Figure Ken so unnerving?
Again, this is Douche Aura. You just know, in your heart of hearts, that this guy suckles Alpaca teat.
Oh, Jenny. Your sharp, angular curves warm my fireplace on cold, wintery nights. Your smile and retro mid 90s roots showing Melrose Place angst would spank me like the naughty chocolate stealing child that I once was, and still long to be.
I would revel in your overachieving, highly ambitious, yet sexually cold and emotionally dysfunctional ways, like a drunk koala on no-doze.
