HCwDB of the Week: The Last Dragon
There were some that complained that this was a lesser week for the Hott/Douche.
I disagree.
The Dragon’s nose tentacles are a new douchal innovation. Gerta is firm, Norweigan IKEA knuckle wrapping, sexually repressed, dysfunction. Together, they make poo. the often present anonymous explains:
The Last Dragon, whose ominous neck scar indicates a Terminator hides behind that synthetic human skin and bloodied V-neck. A metrosexual Terminator, with course hair like a 10 year old “Real hair!” GI Joe doll discovered while emptying the garage, next to an oil painting of William Howard Taft, who would also disapprove and vote Dragon FTW.
Well put, TOPA. And yes, William Howard Taft did indeed vote Last Dragon. Other thoughts:
massengill: In the Spirit of Halloween, I’ve got to give it to The Last Dragon. He looks like the love child of SisQo and the Bride of Frankenstein.
senor budd: The Last Dragon should be disturbing to all who gaze upon it.
rock-n-rool-douchie-pooooooooo: Gotta be Last Dragon FTW. Grecian Formula’s supposed to make your hair DARKER, isn’t it? You used the wrong stuff, idiot!
vinny scumbaglia: Oh yes, your Snot Fu is strong, although your hott is lacking, this is a photographic singularity that might just be able to go a few rounds in the monthly, and by rounds I mean a few rounds from the chamber of Acey Douchey’s roscoe.
crucial head: The Last Dragon looks like a giant fecal log being squeezed out of a polar bear’s rectum. As if polar bears didn’t have enough to worry about.
badvlad: I have to vote for Scrotegun. His hairhelmet, which appears to be formed from some impervious gray miracle polymer and the flames emitting from his notril make for a truly disturbing sight.
archidouchies: Is he the baddest douche in the club? ‘Sho Nuff! Is he the scummiest platinum-headed laser snotter this side of the Mississippi? ‘Sho Nuff!
mr. biggs: Last Dragon, whose smirk forces all lightheartedness out of the picture as he claims his territory to the world. Meanwhile, hott’s engagement in this photo is undeniable. Their hips are locked together in a hopelessness that rivals Christ’s crucifixion, and hott’s gaze is just screaming “daddy I’ll date who I want and you can’t do anything about it.” I’d like to see that look in a few years.
Well argued, round table. Coming in second was the ragin’ crawfish, Crawdaddy. miss muffin explains:
The last dragon just doesn’t seem pouty of whiny enough. When I first saw his picture, I felt sorry for him, because I thought he was a grey haired survivor of neck surgery, with blood still on his shirt. His girl is the hottest of the three contestants, but even his vicious stare cannot make him douchier than Crawdaddy.
and bluefish makes the case for the stool squeezing Iggy Plop:
I have to give it to Iggy, because if I don’t, he will finish the ancient sigil slowly being inked in on his arm and an ancient unspeakable monstrosity will rise from the depths of the uncharted ocean and eat my brain.
Also, his woman is damn fine, in that crazy post-punk barely-dressed kind of way. And that’s a great way to be fine.
It is true that if that tatt gets finished, The Mist will envelop a supermarket in rural Maine. but anonymous puts it best:
2 and 3 are pretenders…the last dragon has everything we have come to expect from weekly winners: ridiculous hair, stupid shirt, lame wrist accessory, and, of course, unwarranted domination of an innocent hot.
True. So true. The Last Dragon wins the vote. But enough to beat out Samurai Scrote in the Monthly? We shall see.
