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Wednesday, January 7, 2009
DJ Bello is Like Go Go Gadget
Check. Check. It’s your ‘bag, DJ Bello.
Ask DB1: Is “John5” Rock Star Exempt?
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DB1,
I’m taking a renewed interest in guitars after several years off, and I kept seeing these cool signature model Fender Telecasters for some guy named “John 5.” Since it was a Tele, I figured he was some kick ass Nashville session guy. So I searched him and this is what I found.
Gross.
It seems he is the current wearer of the “Oodles of Talent/Absence of Taste” guitar wank crown. Rita seems to be his girlfriend — maybe she is famous in her own right? I don’t know… Maybe he is a really, really, really, really nice douchebag.
Here’s his website:
– BK
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Should we grant John5 the Rock Star Exemption?
Computer says no.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009Ask DB1: Is "John5" Rock Star Exempt?
—-
DB1,
I’m taking a renewed interest in guitars after several years off, and I kept seeing these cool signature model Fender Telecasters for some guy named “John 5.” Since it was a Tele, I figured he was some kick ass Nashville session guy. So I searched him and this is what I found.
Gross.
It seems he is the current wearer of the “Oodles of Talent/Absence of Taste” guitar wank crown. Rita seems to be his girlfriend — maybe she is famous in her own right? I don’t know… Maybe he is a really, really, really, really nice douchebag.
Here’s his website:
– BK
—-
Should we grant John5 the Rock Star Exemption?
Computer says no.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009When Douche Attacks!
The latest Reality Show on Fox, When Douche Attacks!!
Licking this Fall.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009Sucking the Poison
Amazingly, Kenny succeeded in convincing Shelly and Layla that Tag Bodyshot chest infections could be fatal unless immediately licked off, winning the bar bet with Peter, Michael and Samir.
Thankfully Unseen Hand of The Collective Unconscious is responding to this situation appropriately.
And before you claim Kenny is not douche, I will note that cargo pants in the clubs are instant stage-2 auto-scrote.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009Choose Your Own Adventure: The Glowbag
PIC DELETED
You enter the living room, where you find a cracked out Glowbag arm-hooking a dark haired Indian Hott from Uttar Pradesh.
If you want to…
Spin around and run screaming from this suburban nightmare, turn to page 39.
Grab Glowbag’s glowsticks and beat him about the head and neck until his collar is un-popped, turn to page 132.
Sucker punch Glowbag in the stomach and take Sanjna out for curry, turn to page 84.
Monday, January 5, 2009Fried Dough Makes Good
Strips of Fried Dough at county fairs and San Genarro festivals the world over envy this cut of Fried Dough, the luckiest Fried Dough of all the Fried Doughs to ever escape Fried Dough status and hit the beach to mack on the Jenny Twins.
Ghoulbaggery
Ghoulbaggery, not to be confused with standard douchebaggery, is the product of Emobag and Gothbag cross-pollination by way of post-2005 “Affliction” name-brandification.
Ghoulbags haunt clubs with the “I’m above this place” ‘tude and the ethos of 80s heroin chic by way of $60 distressed t-shirts, on sale at Macy’s.
They are ultimate poseur fraud choadwanks.
And yet the hotts in sundresses giggle at their toughness and angry displays of “alternative” manhood.
As such, they are simply another form of thematic douche, warmed over and reheated under cover of night, and should be laughed at, and have their chain-wallets confiscated by a big burly black guy who isn’t fooled.
Monday, January 5, 2009Nordic Viking Says “Ja!”
Nordic Viking says “Ja!”
But you did not ask Nordic Viking a question.
Nordic Viking just likes to say “Ja!”
Monday, January 5, 2009Nordic Viking Says "Ja!"
Nordic Viking says “Ja!”
But you did not ask Nordic Viking a question.
Nordic Viking just likes to say “Ja!”
