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What kills me is I may just have to give Ryan a nottadouche, as there’s nothing really offensive about him.

And judging by the company he keeps, Ryan wins at the game of life.

This post is just making me depressed. Thankfully, I have a solution.

For when I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom:

Mother Mary: Blow it out your ass, Ryan, you giant sucking gaping chest-wound of scrotal taint!

Thanks Mother Mary. I can now let it be.