Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

The Eiffel Towers

Ah hawww haww haww…. Too-Loose LaDreck haz seen zee boobies!!

Yeah, I’m making no sense at all today. I apologize for second tier French mocking that doesn’t really even connect to the picture in question, except the baseball cap sort-of looks like a beret.

Seriously. I blame the No-Doze.

But on the plus side… boobies.

And by plus side, I mean plus side.

EDIT: Reader dimples wins the thread with the following: looks like a dead heat in a zeppelin race.

Sally’s Father Hates Himself

Listen closely…

Do you hear that? A distant wailing noise?

It’s Sally’s father. Way off, barely audible… I’veeeeee faillllllllleeddddddd.

Sally's Father Hates Himself

Listen closely…

Do you hear that? A distant wailing noise?

It’s Sally’s father. Way off, barely audible… I’veeeeee faillllllllleeddddddd.

Wednesday Limerick

When Kara and Lara hung out at the beach,
They ran into a douche-pirate named “Cheech,”
Who clamped on their thighs,
With his greasy french-fries,
And shouted “Arrrr!! Once more into the breech!!”

Shannon’s ‘Bag Tag

—-
Hey, so i saw this dbag at the bar and had to capture the moment. hope you find it as douchey as i did!

-shannon
—-

Indeed I do, Shannon.

And I especially appreciate how the clock glows like some spectral club moon watching precariously over the festivities, as Ted’s hair makes a jump for freedom.

But Shannon, what’s with the wristdanna? Are you slipping into douchebaguettery?

Shannon's 'Bag Tag

—-
Hey, so i saw this dbag at the bar and had to capture the moment. hope you find it as douchey as i did!

-shannon
—-

Indeed I do, Shannon.

And I especially appreciate how the clock glows like some spectral club moon watching precariously over the festivities, as Ted’s hair makes a jump for freedom.

But Shannon, what’s with the wristdanna? Are you slipping into douchebaguettery?

Steve’s Shotgun Shorts

Since I’m still celebrating yesterday’s judicial triumph, and since a lot of new traffic’s coming in, I’ll bump the HCwDB of the Week winner to tomorrow.

In the meantime, here’s two classic Vegas cuts of Tattbags, mixing it up with one A+ Boobie Hott and her solid-after-two-beers best friend, Pauline.

But what makes this pic rise above your standard Vegas hott/scrote?

Steve’s Shotgun Shorts.

Because nothing makes a used car salesman from Scottsdale, Arizona, tougher than an Iron Cross tatt and a shotgun on his shorts.

Steve's Shotgun Shorts

Since I’m still celebrating yesterday’s judicial triumph, and since a lot of new traffic’s coming in, I’ll bump the HCwDB of the Week winner to tomorrow.

In the meantime, here’s two classic Vegas cuts of Tattbags, mixing it up with one A+ Boobie Hott and her solid-after-two-beers best friend, Pauline.

But what makes this pic rise above your standard Vegas hott/scrote?

Steve’s Shotgun Shorts.

Because nothing makes a used car salesman from Scottsdale, Arizona, tougher than an Iron Cross tatt and a shotgun on his shorts.

Alleged “Hot Chicks” Dismissed With Prejudice

In a striking blow for Free Speech and the validity of mocking choadscrotes and the women that love them, the case of “Alleged Hot Chicks vs. HCwDB” concluded with total vindication.

Many of you may have read about the lawsuit filed by three New Jersey women last October against a pic I used in my book, coincidentally titled Hot Chicks with Douchebags.

The case was dismissed by the judge with “prejudice” on all counts. You can read the judge’s response to the plaintiffs here.

If you’d like to see the Plaintiffs’ plain tiffs, here’s the writeup on The Smoking Gun.

If you’d like to read the always feeble Gawker’s coverage, you can do so here. Once again proving Gawker is where jaded hipster sarcasm goes to die. Hey look! Hugh Grant is at the Dean & Deluca on Spring Street! Keep up the endless whine, Gawker. Sorry you writers took the stock options, but think of the bright side. You have a place to vent about your own thrwarted dreams of getting your Brooklyn Eggers-esque hybrid docu-novel published.

But back to the case.

I’m pleased to report that the judge did not find the hot chicks to have merit in their protestations about potentially being called hot chicks, which has a backwards compliment sort of logic to it if you think about it. Nonetheless, chalk up a solid victory for the First Amendment. My unfettered right to critique the cultural hottie/douchey plague will continue, unfettered and unFederlined.

I especially enjoy the Judge’s analysis of my writing on pages 4-5, and offer him major respek for correctly spelling “douchebag” as a single word.

Justice was served.

My boobie lusting, alcoholism and rampant disgust for all things douchescrotey shall carry onward until dawn by the light of the silver moon. With dancing rhesus monkeys. And a roadie named Bart.

Alleged "Hot Chicks" Dismissed With Prejudice

In a striking blow for Free Speech and the validity of mocking choadscrotes and the women that love them, the case of “Alleged Hot Chicks vs. HCwDB” concluded with total vindication.

Many of you may have read about the lawsuit filed by three New Jersey women last October against a pic I used in my book, coincidentally titled Hot Chicks with Douchebags.

The case was dismissed by the judge with “prejudice” on all counts. You can read the judge’s response to the plaintiffs here.

If you’d like to see the Plaintiffs’ plain tiffs, here’s the writeup on The Smoking Gun.

If you’d like to read the always feeble Gawker’s coverage, you can do so here. Once again proving Gawker is where jaded hipster sarcasm goes to die. Hey look! Hugh Grant is at the Dean & Deluca on Spring Street! Keep up the endless whine, Gawker. Sorry you writers took the stock options, but think of the bright side. You have a place to vent about your own thrwarted dreams of getting your Brooklyn Eggers-esque hybrid docu-novel published.

But back to the case.

I’m pleased to report that the judge did not find the hot chicks to have merit in their protestations about potentially being called hot chicks, which has a backwards compliment sort of logic to it if you think about it. Nonetheless, chalk up a solid victory for the First Amendment. My unfettered right to critique the cultural hottie/douchey plague will continue, unfettered and unFederlined.

I especially enjoy the Judge’s analysis of my writing on pages 4-5, and offer him major respek for correctly spelling “douchebag” as a single word.

Justice was served.

My boobie lusting, alcoholism and rampant disgust for all things douchescrotey shall carry onward until dawn by the light of the silver moon. With dancing rhesus monkeys. And a roadie named Bart.