Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Where's Waldouche?: Sorority Scrum Edition

Somewhere in this scrum of high quality Arizona State level collegiate boobie suckle thigh, I’ve carefully hidden a guidic Waldouche, making the common “‘bag hand gesture with Bud Light” maneuver.

Look closely.

Can you find him?

Your Saturday Fratmunch

Here’s your Saturday “Fratmunches mugging French Foreign Exchange Student French Hott,” to go with your Corn Pops and hangover.

I know it works for me.

Now untilt that hat and get back to your Writing Workshop, Kevin. Your T.A. is taking attendance.

Friday Thoughts and Links

Economic recession? A new year? A changing culture?

Fish Slap scoffs at such trivialities. For Fish Slap’s chin strap, his 172 degree hat tilt and his b-cup moobs are 4 Eva.

It’s enough to remind us that while some things in life seem impermanent, transitory and ephemeral, other things remind us of a broad continuum of a larger humanity. As absurd as we can become, as radical alterity shifts our social strata, some things will safely stay the same. Even a mooby uberdouche like The Slap.

Here’s your links:

Ed Hardy now makes toy helicopters. The only things yet to be branded “Hardy” are butt plugs and plastic uvulas. And butt plugs are next.

Doucheclowns in the Lot Pt. 3. Yeah, there aren’t any real hotts in this sequence, but man alive, that clown personifies uberbag.

Seeking Roommate/Wingman (Hoboken, NJ) Bonus: He has a party boat “down the shore that fits 13 people and is equipt with a stripper pole.”

Minnesota educators want to ban Axe Bodyspray from schools. This doesn’t pass the smell test. I hate myself for having made that joke.

College Football’s Tim Tebow shows the faintest spikey hair blowout in presence of suckle thigh. Not enough to really be called ‘bag. But what the hell, it’s Friday.

Rcokst*r Inc. For when spelling correctly is just way too gauche.

And finally, while I don’t normally go for the Full Moon on this site, it’s been a tough week. You deserve a fully peeled Ass Pear (NSFW).

The Devil Tans Orange

Courtesy of TMZ, the Oompa that is Valentino continues to spread the Gospel of Orange across this land like a skidmark on our culture.

Hathaway is halfahott confusing. At times she’s utterly delicious boobuousness (see 2005’s “Havoc”). At other times, she’s a bit too chipmunky to reach Lacy Underall status.

The Miami Douchetini

How to mix the drink that’s sweeping the Nation:
—-
Mix in a shaker:

two tablespoons of L.A. Looks Hair Gel
Four Oz. Axe Bodyspray
a dash of pool water

Sprinkle with shiftlessness and too much Wii, and serve with a mint julep.
—

EDIT: Art historian Reader Mike notices the aesthetic and formal composition similarities between The Miami Douchetini and Rafael’s “The Holy Family.”

Friday Haiku

Friday Night movie,
“Night of the Living Douchebag,”
Filmed way too arty.

This is the angle
that God sees douchebags. Tender…
but still disgusting.

— Douche Unto Others

hott in Summer breeze
douche’s ears fan air on cleavage
but hair needs oil change

— Anonymous

Triangle of shade
Betwixt her boob and sundress
I would live in there

— Mr. White

What a wicked game
They play, what a wicked thing
They do – smell of poo.

— Crucial Head

Does she have dandruff?
I think I see white flakes there…
Dust on monitor.

— boatbutter

SLIC EOF CREAMY THIGH
OUTO FO FOCUS BUT PRESENT
I DREAM OF TARMAL!

— Flyteeth

Caption This Pic

Superhero Nippleman and his trusty sidekick Lace Freehley like to unwind after a long day fighting crime by sodomizing bottles.

EDIT: Reader Alexander the Douche realizes that this is Frankie and Pam from Frankie’s Thumb, which ran in January. Frankie finished the body tatt! Lookin’ douchey, Frankie.

Doucheclowns in the ‘Lot Part. 2

PIC DELETED

Let it be said that when Moses came down from Sinai after forty days, and he gazed upon the blowouts and orange tans among his people, he proclaimed, “WTF? I mean seriously.”

Doucheclowns in the 'Lot Part. 2

PIC DELETED

Let it be said that when Moses came down from Sinai after forty days, and he gazed upon the blowouts and orange tans among his people, he proclaimed, “WTF? I mean seriously.”

Phlegm Nation

I hardly know in which direction to spit.

At the ‘bags? Or at myself for being part of a culture that leads to this?

But know this: In spite this swirling cacaphony of Floridian poo, Aqua Bikini on the upper left offers a glimmer of hope.

And by glimmer, I mean sideboob.