Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Nora's 'Bag Tag

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DB1-

XOXO
-Nora
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He looks a little like a dressup ‘bag, Nora. But since you’ve got that Starbuck Karyn Thrace thing working for you, and I’m hot for some Starbuck love, I’m a goin’ with it.

The Aviatorbag is not the worst we’ve seen. A stage 1 or stage 2 Southern Granola Crunch.

As to your plunging neckline and wispy hair-on-neck curl, I would awkwardly discuss the avant-garde at a downtown loft happening over wine until you grew bored and asked to see my driver’s license so you could make fun of my pic. Hah, joke’s on you. My pic is awesome.

CeeGee’s Collar Pop ‘Tag

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DB1,

– CeeGee
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I believe it’s this guy.

CeeGee's Collar Pop 'Tag

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DB1,

– CeeGee
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I believe it’s this guy.

Tai Che

PIC DELETED

Ah yes, the well known iconic Marxist revolutionary, Tai Che.

Legend has it that Tai Che spent much of the 1960s in hiding, preaching a combination of Frantz Fanon inspired neocolonialist revolution texts, and practicing his sexy beach dance moves.

Yeah, not the most creative rant.

It’s only because I’m back in L.A., am out of Corn Pops, and I can’t find my socks.

Stupid pair of socks.

Maybe I should buy a few more pairs.

Sarah’s Terd Tag

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Hey DB1-

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I have nothing to add, Sarah, you tagged them perfectly.

Terds.

Sarah's Terd Tag

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Hey DB1-

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I have nothing to add, Sarah, you tagged them perfectly.

Terds.

The Hebrew Hammer

Moses Bling and tighty tights with matzoh balls are not kosher for passover, Ephraim.

Neither are the hotlets. Whom may be under age. So please post-date the following comment, and open it on or after 4/21/10:

I would talcum Tiny Dancer on the left’s forearm with spackle and then dance a kabuki mime rendition of Tosca just for the chance to get slapped by her angry, protective, older sister.

Redonkulous

Some douchebags burn out.

Others fade away.

But Donkey Douche will mack on the hotts forever.

The Crimson Goose

Queens-based Michelle had a long day at the salon. So she rubs her upper boob area and gets her sexy on.

But Crimson Goose has no time for such distractions.

For he must text.

While he cradles his Goose with the tender affections of a newly birthed lemur.

Reader Mail: John’s Royal Flush

“John” writes in:

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Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any p@ssy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

– John
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“Thanks for listening?” So polite, John.

But I’ll have you know that, in my junior year in high school, I was a full-time starter on the J.V. Jack Off to Naked Drawn Japanese People team.

I attempted to play varsity my senior year, but an unfortunate wrist sprain during a particularly intense preseason round of octopus manga sidelined me for the season.

EDIT: For all of those emailing me that this is a hoax, or a 4chan meme, the proof that John is indeed real can be seen here.