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Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Star Nipple
Some star nips cannot be unseen.
The Tiki Douche
With clockwork certainty, the Tiki Douche can be summoned when the following factors are present:
1. A “Bud Light” Totem Pole, mocking all that was once authentically indigenous to Native American culture.
2. A Brunette Boobie Hottie with winsome face and softy soft boobie boob.
3. Layoffs at the local Jiffy-Lube
Tuesday, June 30, 2009Reader Mail: The Lit Bag
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Bienvenue DB1,
Just have a question regarding men who do not display physical characteristics of douchebaggery (barbed wire tats, mandannas, kissylips, etc.), but in similar fashion feel the need to put on a peacock-display through imaginary verbal acumen.
For example, say an individual at some sort of social function feels the needs to drop “post-modern zeitgeist” or other bullsh*t verbose words in order to insinuate intellectual superiority in their attempts to impress the hot.
Do these people file under the douchebag category or are the relegated to less harmful categories like pompous, asinine, and ass-clown?
Sincerely,
J
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All those names apply. Or you can just call me DB1.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009Ted: The Ultimate Douche Champion!!
It’s not the bling or hat tilt or Affliction shirt.
It’s that douche-face. That’s what won him the belt and made Ted the Champion.
The Champion of kitchen poo.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009‘Splosionhead the Douchebag Got a Posse
Looks like Saturday’s Splosionhead brought in a whole posse of douchebags to mack on Kimmy and Kelly over summer vaca.
There’s enough gel in this group of clowns to freeze a hippo in agar.
As to the hotts, Kimmy’s body is glorious.
Feminine, yet strong enough to till the soil during harvest season. I would lick her hoop earrings with the angry butter churning motion of a young Amish goatherder who can’t find wife.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009'Splosionhead the Douchebag Got a Posse
Looks like Saturday’s Splosionhead brought in a whole posse of douchebags to mack on Kimmy and Kelly over summer vaca.
There’s enough gel in this group of clowns to freeze a hippo in agar.
As to the hotts, Kimmy’s body is glorious.
Feminine, yet strong enough to till the soil during harvest season. I would lick her hoop earrings with the angry butter churning motion of a young Amish goatherder who can’t find wife.
Monday, June 29, 2009Suburban Pimp
It’s hard out here for a pimp.
And by out here, I mean suburbia.
And by pimp, I mean Timmy the Clown.
Monday, June 29, 2009Morris
Oh Morris.
Your face is like a three day old loaf of pumpernickle rye after being urinated on by feral wolves and then masticated by a toothless billy goat.
Your limp, half-hearted sideways gang sign hand gesture just made a member of the Crips in Compton cry for the father he never knew.
Your kissy lips are a spectral guppy fish sucking the air of future progress out of the ether and converting it to carbon douchoxide.
Poor Caroline.
She just wanted a free drink.
Monday, June 29, 2009Abstract Fartistry
What’s more fun than macking on a Brunette while sitting on a couch painted by Joan Miró?
Flipping off that bitch who prefers Modigliani.
Yup. Art jokes. On a Monday no less.
I blame too much dextrose.
Monday, June 29, 2009Three Votes for #2
All three of the people in this pic voted for #2, as you can tell.
Have you voted in the Weekly yet?
