Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Friday Thoughts and Links

Here’s E-BLO, The Electric Blight Orchestra, now maintaining an absolutely blank douche-face in the presence of various tasty collegiate hotts in three pictures in a row.

It’s like Monday’s HCwDB of the Week is already over, and it’s only Friday.

Another week of thigh hott lust and choadscrote mock comes to a close. Alls I know is I’m eating Fig Newtons and downing at least two bottles of Thunderbird by Sundown.

Here’s your links:

Noted uberdouchologist Arthur Kade rides vacuous narcissism into a blip of pointless media attention. Keep staring at yourself, Artie. Maybe something’ll show up eventually.

Speaking of Philly wankscrote, today is Mike Fazio’s birthday. I wish I could retroactive erase knowing who “Mike Fazio” is. Maybe if I drink harder tonight.

So when did buying lingerie online begin to resemble the auditions for “Casting Couch #83”? And why no librarian hotties?

Speaking of weightlifting guido-face poo, do not click on this link. I told you not to click on that link.

Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun is launching a line of douche-wear. For when Ed Hardy isn’t scrotey enough.

Euro Conquistador and 2007 internet meme, The Techno Viking, battles none other than HCwDB’s own Jorge in Technoviking versus Vernon Koekemoer. With a strange dash of Chuck Norris.

In South Korea, Axe Bodyspray turns a female dormitory into a calendar of daily hotness. Nice to objectify women as daily objects to be acquired, Axe Marketing Team. I would never do that here at HCwDB. Mmmm, boobie hottie suckle thigh.

And finally… your tropical paradise Ass Pear La Plante.

All That Jazz: Miami Beach Touring Company

I get that the whole updating of a Bob Fosse musical means you gotta take some liberties with costume.

But really. Making the Roy Scheider character a chest shaving scrote-stain? Not a good choice.

As to the hotts, the answer is yes, I would indeed Kander their Ebbs and Comden their Greens. I would Sweet their Charities and Fiddler their Roofs, then softly hum “We Should Light the Candle” from Rent while massaging their toesies and groping their thighs.

Yes, even the intimidating brunette on the right. For her corpus poses a delightful challenge that I would snack on like a hungry sea bass. Judge me if you must, but that girl gets freaky.

Grillz

Teeth grillz.

Still out there.

Still very silly.

Friday Haiku

Scrotevil Plague strikes,
Bikini Blonde infected
Where the sun don’t shine.

Ronnie James Dio
Never intended for such
misuse of goat horns.

— Douche Wayne

This is what happens
When you sleep under piles
of wet anime.

— Mr. White

Test subject from the
“Jackson Pollock School of Tatts”
Needs new part-time job

— Vin Douchal

Bleeth prepares last words
In ‘Bag sign language before
Stepping off gallows.

— Crucial Head

Wall of graffiti
Wants to whisper in your ear
Turns out – just a ‘bag

— saulgoode42

Gaggle o’ Taint

I have nothing clever to say about this atrocity of a pic, so I will simply declare the following:

I like Fig Newtons. They’re tasty. And go good with milk.

Gaggle o' Taint

I have nothing clever to say about this atrocity of a pic, so I will simply declare the following:

I like Fig Newtons. They’re tasty. And go good with milk.

Chug Life 4 Eva

Ah yes, Chug Life.

It’s been over a year since your pale saggy scrote (dis)graced HCwDB.

Your ladies remain suckleworthy, even as your teeth fall out like a post-transport Seth Brundlefly with jaundice.

And your sad nipple star tatt falls from the sky, as seen by The Little Prince on Planet B612.

D–ch-b-g

Even without all the letters, Gina was still able to read this guy’s shirt.

Caption This Pic Thursday

Your humble narrator’s brain is badly hungover this morning, and bummed out by the sad news about David Carradine. Rest in peace, Kwai Chang Caine.

I need to go get a coffee.

So while I’m off at the local Coffee Bean, I’m turning this one over to you for a “Caption This Pic.” I’ll start it off:

After getting Clara drunk on lemon shooters at the beach party, Dave offered to take her back to his place to show her his painting.

The Waldettes

Secondary pic confirmation that the triumvirate of hott from last night’s “Where’s Waldouche?” pic are indeed quality suckle thigh.

Also confirmation that they like to hang out with uberchoads.

Nice four-dimensional hat tilt, Patrick Poowing.