Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Steven King’s The Tongue

A brief exerpt from Steven King’s The Tongue:

—-
It was late at night that Johnny’s tongue came out. Like a tube sock of taint, it would wrap itself around his young, coquettish victims, using only its douchey-ass blue piercing as an eye.

Poor Sally. Before she knew it, The Tongue was upon her. The Tongue moved quickly into her ear canal, sucking her soul into a vat of toxic jerzery.
—–

What? Steven King’s new book has embedded hyperlinks. It’s the latest thing.

Steven King's The Tongue

A brief exerpt from Steven King’s The Tongue:

—-
It was late at night that Johnny’s tongue came out. Like a tube sock of taint, it would wrap itself around his young, coquettish victims, using only its douchey-ass blue piercing as an eye.

Poor Sally. Before she knew it, The Tongue was upon her. The Tongue moved quickly into her ear canal, sucking her soul into a vat of toxic jerzery.
—–

What? Steven King’s new book has embedded hyperlinks. It’s the latest thing.

No More “Eurobags and Inflat-a-hotts”

In one of the fastest takedown requests in recent months, not one but both of the Tuscan Eurodouches wrote in with takedown requests.

Firstly, the nice one:

——-
Good work, I knew someday my photographed intoxication would come back to haunt me. This was actually taken on my birthday about 5 or 6 years ago, yes that was me with the awful see through shirt. Please take this down and burn it for me. More importantly, where did you get the photo?

– (Euroscrote #1)
———–

And then, the dickish one:

———

This Photo was taken from py private files and you are not authorized to use it. Please remove it from the site immediately. Thank you,

– (Euroscrote #2)
———

“Private files”? What is this, Matlock?

Which just goes to show us. The nottadouche turned out to be the true pudwacker, and the douche turned out to have a nice sense of self deprecation.

Hmm. I think we’ve all learned our lesson here.

Which is, of course, that boobies are squeezy.

No More "Eurobags and Inflat-a-hotts"

In one of the fastest takedown requests in recent months, not one but both of the Tuscan Eurodouches wrote in with takedown requests.

Firstly, the nice one:

——-
Good work, I knew someday my photographed intoxication would come back to haunt me. This was actually taken on my birthday about 5 or 6 years ago, yes that was me with the awful see through shirt. Please take this down and burn it for me. More importantly, where did you get the photo?

– (Euroscrote #1)
———–

And then, the dickish one:

———

This Photo was taken from py private files and you are not authorized to use it. Please remove it from the site immediately. Thank you,

– (Euroscrote #2)
———

“Private files”? What is this, Matlock?

Which just goes to show us. The nottadouche turned out to be the true pudwacker, and the douche turned out to have a nice sense of self deprecation.

Hmm. I think we’ve all learned our lesson here.

Which is, of course, that boobies are squeezy.

Fakebaggery / Not Fakebaggery

PIC DELETED

Help me out.

Is this an authentoscrote?

Or some fratclown playing ‘bag dressup to get Katie and Vanessa to pay attention to him at the Kappa Kappa Hey mixer?

EDIT: The takedown email confirmed that this tool was, indeed, a serious douche, and not dressing up.

Eurobags and Inflat-a-hotts

PIC DELETED

There’s no redemption possible here.

The Tuscan Scrotes have flown over to party in Vegas with chests and bling fully revealed. They are extreme Euro-poo.

But the Vegas Inflat-a-Hotts are no better. Too far gone for saving. Stage-4 Bleeths. Pure Douchebaguette, with no hope of reversal.

Doomed to small one-bedroom rentals outside of Reno for their next forty years of a life filled with scratch tickets and Sizzler coupons.

Luke Wilson’s Tumor

If Luke Wilson shat out a tumor, and that Tumor got a bunch of puffins and stars tattooed on his arm, and that Tumor then headed to Vegas to hit on Kylie Minogue, we’d have this pic right here.

Luke Wilson's Tumor

If Luke Wilson shat out a tumor, and that Tumor got a bunch of puffins and stars tattooed on his arm, and that Tumor then headed to Vegas to hit on Kylie Minogue, we’d have this pic right here.

Shirtless Old Guy With Hott Blonde in Grandma’s Attic Voted

Shirtless Old Guy with Hott Blonde in Grandma’s Attic just voted in the Weekly.

Have you?

Shirtless Old Guy With Hott Blonde in Grandma's Attic Voted

Shirtless Old Guy with Hott Blonde in Grandma’s Attic just voted in the Weekly.

Have you?