Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

HCwDB in the News

In exciting HCwDB news, MTV has picked up my show Is She Really Going Out With Him? for a second season and another twenty episodes. We’re gearing up as we speak to bring a whole new level of hottie/douchey critique to the masses. New locations. New couples. New poo.

I celebrate with a tasty cup of Thunderbird in my trusty Ubiquitous Red Cup. And with a special frozen HoHo I saved for the occasion.

Thanks to all who helped make the show a hit by spreading the word about the show, the site or the book. I tip my cup of ‘Bird to you. And may the next 20 couples be as horrifyingly trainwrecky as the first 20.

For those who haven’t seen it, the episodes are still airing and I highly recommend you check ’em out.

Eric Bana in “Munich 2: Tel Aviv Douchin'”

I don’t know what Spielberg’s been thinking lately.

Eric Bana in "Munich 2: Tel Aviv Douchin'"

I don’t know what Spielberg’s been thinking lately.

Donkey Douche to HCwDB: “U People are Nobodys!”

HCwDB legend, the one and only Donkey Douche, responds in the comments threads:

—-
U people are the nerds and drones of the earth. While some of us are livin life you people sit on your computers blogin away like wastes of lives u are. Funny thing is people are out to get me , but i will beat my troubles, you people will still be worthless. I walk by people like u everyday, but funny thing is I DO NOT NOTICE U, WHY, BECAUSE U PEOPLE ARE NOBODYS. MUST SUCK TO BE A NOBODY!!!

4:58 PM
—-

Yeah, but can you do this?

Donkey Douche to HCwDB: "U People are Nobodys!"

HCwDB legend, the one and only Donkey Douche, responds in the comments threads:

—-
U people are the nerds and drones of the earth. While some of us are livin life you people sit on your computers blogin away like wastes of lives u are. Funny thing is people are out to get me , but i will beat my troubles, you people will still be worthless. I walk by people like u everyday, but funny thing is I DO NOT NOTICE U, WHY, BECAUSE U PEOPLE ARE NOBODYS. MUST SUCK TO BE A NOBODY!!!

4:58 PM
—-

Yeah, but can you do this?

HCwDB After Dark

It’s HCwDB After Dark. C’mon in! The water’s fine.

It’s a ‘bag and Bleeth spectacle on display tonight. relax by the veranda. Slip on those slippers. Light up a pipe. And kick back by the fire.

Here comes some appetizers. Help yourself to some pigs in a blanket.

And by pigs in a blanket, I mean… oh, you write the jokes. It’s HCwDB After Dark.

Donkey Douche Gets Old

Some legends burn out.

Some legends fade away.

Some just hit on the new girl.

The Hippiebag

Sometimes we need to think Outside the Patchouli here at HCwDB and tag some of the more non-traditional forms of scrotal pudwhack.

Like the Hippiebag.

First things first, Hippiebag.

Phish is not a “brilliant jam band.” They’re juvenile noodlers.

No, Lana doesn’t want to see your collection of vintage hackey sacks.

Yes, you smell like tea tree oil and vegeburgers.

And no, Lana doesn’t want to invest in your Macrobiotic rooftop garden. She just wants 10% off.

Ed Hardy in Turkey

Why they hate us:

—-
DB1-
Just got back from Turkey and wow Don Ed Hardy is alive there! They had these market places and literally there would not be one clothing boutique that did not sell the wrath to the future youth of Turkey.

– 5teve
—–

Dear world, we apologize for this neocolonial violence towards the indigenous cultures of the fractured colonized enabled by really douchey-ass t-shirts.

Especially you, Istanbul (not Constantinople).

You give us kabob. We give you poo.

Spike or Faux?

Time to weigh in, fellow ‘bag hunters and huntresses.

Which hairstyle is superior poo:

1.Crusty McBlowout (with matching chinpube)

2. Fwippy McFaux (with blonde highlights)

Vote now!

As to young Chelsea Handler and Naughty Rachel Bilson, yes and yes.