Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

The Douchiest Video of the Year: "Scooter"

Talentless shouting, loud early 90s techno and a cracked up editor. Close down the voting at the 2009 Douchie Awards. We have a winner.

Where’s Waldouche?: Saturday Punchface Edition

Somewhere in this gaggle of sorority sisters with at least two quality sexy-trampy hotts, I’ve carefully hidden a Kissy Lips Punchface Waldouche.

Look closely.

Can you find him?

Where's Waldouche?: Saturday Punchface Edition

Somewhere in this gaggle of sorority sisters with at least two quality sexy-trampy hotts, I’ve carefully hidden a Kissy Lips Punchface Waldouche.

Look closely.

Can you find him?

Friday Thoughts and Links

So what do we make of the Pincushion Twins?

Working for the Weekend. Tackling Long Island Tramphotts on the beach for a picture.

As I reflect on our culture on this Friday afternoon, my thoughts drift to human sexuality.

So often we deny the influences of our culture, our media, our peers, our music, all plays on telling us who we should want to boink with our winkydinks.

We believe we make choices free of influence, while billions generate on our desire to transform ourselves into the one everyone wants to hiney sniff. We flatter ourselves. While the structure profits off our blinders.

But then I remind myself that God didn’t have to invent alcohol. So I got that going for me. Hey Llama, how about a little something for the effort?

Here’s your Friday Links:

What an asshat!

Celebrity HCwDB of the Week: Micky Rourke and Anonymous Hott Model

Douche Pants? $10,000. Moral bankruptcy of the soul? Priceless.

The original John Hughes short story, Vacation ’58, that became the movie. Genius.

I can think of one blog that definitely should not become a TV show. It’s like reading the castrated carcass of the nutsack of satire.

Burning Man. Creative and liberating artistic expression? Or douches by another name?

Temporary Knuckle Tatts offend on so many levels, the Baby Jesus just punched the Baby Buddha in the nuts.

And of course, because I care, HCwDB Celeb hott Marissa Miller Ass Pear.

Go forth, friends. Go forth and liberate the mind. And get some.

The “Lock n’ Lick”

Because nothing expresses affection quite like the world famous “Lock n’ Lick” move.

First patented in an 19th Century German beer hall by Anslush Grubermeier, the “Lock n’ Lick,” or in its original German, the “Macht Shnell Fraulein,” became a key strategy for picking up German beer wenches.

Until the 1920s, when it fell out of favor due to the rising popularity of the “Wie Gehts Bitches!”

The "Lock n' Lick"

Because nothing expresses affection quite like the world famous “Lock n’ Lick” move.

First patented in an 19th Century German beer hall by Anslush Grubermeier, the “Lock n’ Lick,” or in its original German, the “Macht Shnell Fraulein,” became a key strategy for picking up German beer wenches.

Until the 1920s, when it fell out of favor due to the rising popularity of the “Wie Gehts Bitches!”

Hair Templeton

Remember kids, Hair Templeton says, “Only fools play with matches!! Help Woodsy, lend a hand!! Be cool, stay in school!! I hate my parents and have limited job prospects!!”

NFL Kicker Jeff Reed is “McLovin'”

HCwDB Party Boy legend and fusball player Jeff Reed is still out there.

Still doughy.
Still partying.
Still lovin’ the ladies.

Granted he’s a nottadouche by most standards. But lets not forget his glory days.

Still, he’s no Matt Stafford.

NFL Kicker Jeff Reed is "McLovin'"

HCwDB Party Boy legend and fusball player Jeff Reed is still out there.

Still doughy.
Still partying.
Still lovin’ the ladies.

Granted he’s a nottadouche by most standards. But lets not forget his glory days.

Still, he’s no Matt Stafford.

Friday Haiku

Hail Hail Xenu! King,
Of Science of Scrotology,
Tom Cruise worships you.

Fizzgig does not like
Skeksis groping his Kira,
Xenu cracks crystal.

— Jean Claude Van Douche

Sadness fell like a,
Mist of melancholy rain,
As Jenny touched Sludge.

— “Lesbian Thermos” Ernie Tubesock

Carmen Electra
Did Xenu steal your implants
To widen his gut?

— J-Pompous

Beach Troll’s brother Ted
has a double-toned hair-do
done by the Hair God.

— Hot Buttered Poopcorn

Who’s responsible
For dipping Ron Jeremy
In a vat of Nair?

— DarkSock

HŌØ!!! Ørãñgė Mmëat Mán?!?/
ŠNÅp iñtö ā THÏÇK JÏM!!)!! HHAÆrPH!!!$!!
KÏÇKŠ TÜ HĮŚ GØMPĘRś!!!!

— ŁLâMMAh:,/