HCwDB of the Week
Your humble narrator had a relaxing weekend munching on processed sugar snacks and enjoying a tasty beverage. But tasty beverages are not enough. There’s work to be done.
The Weekly appears to be a mismatch. But we’ve seen mismatches go to the underdogs before. Will it happen this time? That’s where you come in. Here’s your finalists:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Etch-a-Head and Gloria
Originally posted as a “Caption This Pic” contest, Head Sketchy brings significant douhetributes to the Weekly.
Waxed brows.
Ridic ear bling.
Landing strip chin.
Standard issue MMA t-shirt.
And, of course, the Etch-a-Head.
Gloria is fiery Latina curvaceous hottness, with perky nose, sexy hooch eyeshadow, and boobs a boobsin’.
She is quality first generation salsa goodness.
He has a wrist tattoo.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Lincoln Log
Knocked out of the last Weekly due to the high competition, I’m making an executive decision and placing The Log in this Weekly. He deserves another shot at being mocked.
The Log is true West Coast Inland Empire douche at work.
Muscle t-shirt. Strange facial pubes. Undeserved “tough” attitude. Hand gesture. Abe Lincoln arm tatt.
That’s right. Abe Lincoln arm tatt.
Four score and seven hours ago, the Log was lying in a puddle of vomit wondering where his life went wrong.
The ladies? They bring dual generic West Coast hottitude.
Nothing spectacular or innovative. Nothing really inspiring in a sui generis sort of way. But quality hotness nonetheless. And a bitable suckle leg.
Whether he wins or not,”Pucker” needs a soggy rye to the face.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Poopaloompa
Normally with an orange mutant this ridiculous, I’d be inclined to move him straight to the Closet of Poo and be done with it.
But methinks the Poopa deserves his shot in the Weekly.
The drawback?
A less than A-List, albeit wholesome, girl next door. Is she enough to hold up the HC side? Or can the Poopa’s poopitude create a poopulous vortext of pee?
Missing the cut, but deserving consideration for Hall of Hott is Santabag’s Elf Hott and the puddwackitude of The Floater.
But them’s your three.
Which coupling shall prove victorious/rank? That, my friends, is up to you.
Vote, as eternal, in the comments thread.
