Friday, November 20, 2009
Friday Haiku
Sneery Goose Runner
Almost pulls “Double Shocker,”
Needs index to hold.
Frosted glass at night
In a Seventies basement
Side boob and lip gloss
— Publius Choadius Naso
Spring Break trip mistake
Got on plane to Russia, oops
Still met bags with booze
— Dr. DB
Latin goblin bags
Vanilla chocolate goose
Hots drink to endure.
— The ‘Baggernaut
Three hotts in a room
Douchebag Pack encircle them
Forsake all hope, run!
— Hector, Tamer of Douches
It’s Los Stooges Tres.
Left to right, there’s Moe, Curly,
and El Carne de Porch.
— “Lesbian Thermos” Ernie Tubesock
El Chupacabra
turns his back on tequilla
por que, amigo?
— Douche Wayne
Frosted glass at night
In a Seventies basement
Side boob and lip gloss
El Chupacabra
turns his back on tequilla
por que, amigo?
Latina Gina,
saving herself for marriage;
goose neck doesn't count.
Speedy Gonzalez
holds up fingers to rep how
long he lasts in bed.
Trabajo chicas,
those drinks don't pay for themselves,
neither does Carlos.
Girls wear low cut shirts
To make their breast look bigger
Biggest boob: back left
Half orange, half punch
And by that of course I mean
Her skin and his face
After wearing the
spandex in the ring, lucha-
dores are manly, right?
Punchable douche lips;
The real reason Mexican
Wrestlers wear face masks.
"Yo homes!", Chico spoke.
"I hope her taco is pink
like her bloated lips."
Cholo-bags hate Axe,
the stink reminds them of the
filth of San Paolo.
What do I see there
Chica in gold has mustache
Dirty sanchez, no?
ha ha, douche wayne
Don't drink the water
should include all liquids for
these senoritas.
Designer vodka
Like motor oil, it tastes like
shit, lubes your piston.
The Padres game is
canceled today instead we
bring you "El Suciedad".
Tupperware party
New ways to use plastic bins
Later use for barf
Three cute latinas
Hover around the vodka
Must get drunk to hang
~JUSTIN
Spring Break trip mistake
Got on plane to Russia, oops
Still met bags with booze
Dr. DB
Andrew Zimmern Douche
Ponders his last Bizarre meal…
"Douche Hott al'Orange"
It's Los Stooges Tres.
Left to right, there's Moe, Curly,
and El Carne de Porch.
The gates of Hades
Open wide to welcome in
My bleeding eyeballs
The real "shocker" is
that those three guys entered the
country legally.
Orange shirt wuss snarls
Phil's rotten hard boiled egg fart
Still wet on his chin
One young, two old guys
Hotts only there for the booze
Threesome among dudes
Late night, Miami
Paco is flashing "susto"
Spanish word for shock
~JUSTIN
Latin goblin bags
Vanilla chocolate goose
Hots drink to endure.
Three hotts in a room
Douchebag Pack encircle them
Forsake all hope, run!
Monkey love on left
Makes Bald Tito want to join
in. Girls could care less.
Three cute latinas
Pretend to like three greaseballs
Run away with booze
~JUSTIN
Brunette latina
Likes to play practical jokes
Leaves them glass of pee
~JUSTIN
If there were ever
a time to support border
control, it is now.
Bald Tito wants to
Join in the party going on
Green card expires soon.
In Mexico it
seems that blue jeans are the pant
of choice among folk.
Orange choad with Goose
Hopes to suck on Sancho's balls
When picture is done.
The local branch of
The United Farm Workers
Takes a break from grapes
Hott in brown makes an
"S" with her curves; douche makes an
asterisk with hands
Blond hott in back says
"I'm just here for the free drinks."
Douches stay unfulfilled.
Mexican New Year
Smells better than this wreckage.
Eau de Burned Tires.
Marcus from HR
is too shy for Brown Hott, so
rubs her butt with his
Hot three way action
No one with cockk invited
Snarler's cool wid it
Guys, douche knows no race
Commenting on race is like
Special Olympics
Smiley Hott has a
plan. Orange douche doesn't know
ass will "run with Goose."
The money Marie
Sends home each month gets spent on
This stupid bullshit.
Dispeptic bald guy
Prepares to let go an "Urp"
Designs new t-shirt
Is that Apple Juice
Mixed with Goose? This is called a
blackout on all counts.
This picture is tough…
The Douche isn't that douchey,
And the Hott is "meh."
Disembodied Hott
Turns my taquito into
A big burrito.
Sidney Frank chuckled
Sold the Goose to Bacardi
For $2 Billion cash
Now rolls in his grave
To see this choad mishandle
His beloved juice
Real life "Losin' It"
Is even worse than movie.
Need more Spanishfly.
White dress shirt douche pees
in Brown Hott's butt, passes long cocck
between his own legs
Last haiku made no
sense–this picture is a tough
one to riff off of.
Agreed Mr. White,
Not much inspiration here.
Need Fishslap-type pic.
I just thought up a
codename for yellow shirt hott:
She's Mel A. Nomas
"Juice and Goose are great!"
says put in orange. Bald
Tito thinks he's gay.
Mel. A. Nomas wants
to say, "Mr. White makes me
twitchy in my loins!"
C'mon DB1,
A fuckin' "Losin' It" ref?
That was a winner!
One more Haiku, Boss!
For no other reason than 'cuz
My ass showed up late
Sock curses his work
And sullenly climbs into
The FailiCopter
@Doc Bunsen
At first, excitment
Then Mel realized that twitching
was from syphilis
"Bring three more bottles!"
Not that easy to fill a
Samurai Scrote shot…
Yankee's World Series
afterparty got crazy,
Melky throws shocker.
Another party
By Latin-Americans:
"Fuck You Lou Dobbs" Bash!
Call 911
Delectable hott in jeopardy
From destable scrotez
In basement
Running with the goose
Fester tries to cop a feel
Daughter's twenty-first!
Boatbutter, great "Losin' It" reference!
This must be the prelude to The Gangbang!!
Douche Machine's rhythm
is gonna get you–tonight!
Dum dum.. dum dum dum!
-Bagnonymous
Douchey Bleethy scrum.
Andrew Zimmern douche looks on,
Juan-Pablo macks on.
Tight packed, smelly group.
Seven people, two employed.
Friday every night.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
"Fuck you Lou Dobbs" bash….hahaha
The cranberry juice
Is for the yeast infections
From being peed in.
It seems so fitting
'Bags and Hotts sucking booze from
Large baby bottles
Surprises me yet
Despite the taint, still I yearn
Hottie Suckle Thigh
Watch out there douchebags
Gold shirt 'girl' really post-op
Robert Carradine
Tres damas lindas
con tres pinches babosos
iVete, ganso, ve!
Translation:
Three pretty ladies
with three fuccen jackasses
Run, goose, run!
Sideboob aplenty,
…
I got nothing this week
How many fingers
am I holding up? Shut the
fuck up you douchebag.
-noobbag
Haiku has a set
pattern of five-seven-five.
Mine is not that. Ha.
Hey, istn't that the
Jewish guy from Sex and the
City in the back?
-noobbag
My Excel spreadsheet
Has 2 rows and 3 columns
To track my scroteness.
-noobbag
I sneer at the sight
of these 3 luscious ladies
because i'm a pud.
-noobbag
The stormtrooper clones
mack on unsuspecting hotts
Emperor displeased
Hangover precludes
My chance at front page. Stop drinking?
I should. But I can't.
@ Crucial 9:57
Regarding haiku:
Eight syllables in second line
Must have had rough night
There is a balm in
Gil-e-ad, but it sure ain't
what they're consuming.
The hoochie-coochie
factor of 'Goose, boobs and an-
drogens coheres well.
Ancient Mayan ways
find renewal in tits and
vodka ritual.
What is the mascot
for Golden Valley, MN do-
ing in Mexico?
Grey Goose swilling bags
Just in from Armenia
The bleeths are intrigued
Tell you what, mofos,
These bags aint from Ireland
Run for the border
This is why I chose
To stab myself in the eyes
Beats trying Haiku
Three drunken roadies
From Toto's Fahrenheit tour
Can't pronounce "Toto"
"That is a white shirt,"
I said to bag on the left.
"Are there men's sizes?"
Douchebags buy Grey Goose
Because they'll believe anything
They read in Maxim
I feel uninspired
Can't conceive a witty verse
I hate these haikus
Does this mean I have to change vodka brands?
The only bottle service I use is at home.. but it is primarily GG.
They all can smell it
Taco Bell shart in boxers
Orange shirt dealt it.
Orange nipples on goose
Extracted from Cheeto Man?
Arouses faux douche.
Singer from band Stain'd
Gathers with the last remnants
Of his dumb fan base.
Business casual
For the dude on the left side
An awkward moment.
So, I strike again
While you all slumber like babes
You all bow to meeeeee!
Ahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!!
party for F-list
celebs. F as in FAIL. go
jump in a lake, scrotes.
Chicks here for one man
Faux hawk, big watch and sun tan
nice ass – want a shot?
Three greacy 'ombre's'
Three travelin hotts,
Where to find a drink,
To avoid this Douchie shot.
Regards,
Douche Pitt