Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Ask DB1: Where’s the Chocolate Luv?

—-
Dear DB1-

Sincerely, Jared
———-

Point well taken, Jared. The tasty mocha hott I ran this morning reminded me that this is an important element of hott studies we must explore.

I will do my best to feature more of the Sista Hotts, especially the Halle Berry / Vivica Fox types. You are correct to note that they do not have the same tolerance for Suburban Scrotal Pud the way white girls do. Interesting. Warrants more discussing in the future.

Ask DB1: Where's the Chocolate Luv?

—-
Dear DB1-

Sincerely, Jared
———-

Point well taken, Jared. The tasty mocha hott I ran this morning reminded me that this is an important element of hott studies we must explore.

I will do my best to feature more of the Sista Hotts, especially the Halle Berry / Vivica Fox types. You are correct to note that they do not have the same tolerance for Suburban Scrotal Pud the way white girls do. Interesting. Warrants more discussing in the future.

The Frog Dissects

Props to Wheezer for catching that yesterday’s Dissected Frog ran previously on the site as Alpaca Farm Head.

Either way, this douche is named after the various and sundry economic interests of my investments in natural resources as a secondary source of income.

Yes, I have frog and alpaca farms. I also sell rabbits. Pets or meat. Judge me if you must.

Ever since my New Zealand sheep shearing business was acquired by SheepleCo, I’ve been casting about for new modalities of economic divestment.

And on that note, Sandra’s Long Island gum snapping gets me excited.

E-Blo Gettin’ Ready for the 2009 Douchies

June’s HCwDB of the Month winner, and therefore one of our 2009 HCwDB of the Year nominees, E-Blo, is gearin’ up for the 2009 Douchie Awards the only way he knows how.

By exhibiting no facial expression whatsoever.

And by permanently tattooing his passion for Criss Angel.

E-Blo Gettin' Ready for the 2009 Douchies

June’s HCwDB of the Month winner, and therefore one of our 2009 HCwDB of the Year nominees, E-Blo, is gearin’ up for the 2009 Douchie Awards the only way he knows how.

By exhibiting no facial expression whatsoever.

And by permanently tattooing his passion for Criss Angel.

Chin Dribble. Still Out There. Still Douchey.

Some classics of the genre never quite go away.

Chin dribble facial pubes is one of them.

Is Carl a Douche?

Here’s the thing.

I just can’t hate on Carl.

Sure he’s got the douche-ass hat tilt, the “rocker” hand gesture and the tongue. Plus the pseudo-punk t-shirt.

But he just looks so happy to be in the presence of Bunny Gina with the perfect suckle thigh, that, maybe it’s the Night Train speaking, but I’m thinking earns a nottadouche

But… I haven’t given that nottadouche out yet. It’s in a holding pattern.

What say you?

‘Bag? Or Notta?

Yeah. You’re probably right.

Douche.

Sorry Carl. Couldn’t let ya pass.

The Dissected Frog

Remember when Elliott had to dissect the frog in E.T. but then he got high via Coors Light empathic link and kissed Erika Eleniak instead?

What’s the relevancy here?

Frogs.

The Pouterbag

Every Freshman 18+ party has one.

The smirky senior with the douche tags and ‘tude.

Pouterbags aren’t major league taint. More like stage-1 or stage-2 minor league ass-pimple.

Too “badass” to pay attention to the Charlotte Sisters from northern Minnesota. From Hibbing. Or maybe Barnum.

Because Jerry Lundegaard just did a lot count.

The Salt Lick Celebrates

Impressed by The Poopaloompa’s win in the HCwDB of the Month, yesterday’s aging party boy, The Salt Lick, and Marissa, have one thing to say:

I’m gunnin’ for you, Poopa!

Looks like we’ll be seeing the Licker in the next Weekly.