Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Where’s Waldouche? Homeless Trucker Edition
Somewhere in this uneven assortment of giggle girls (with Red Bra in the back winning the top prize), I’ve carefully hidden a homeless trucker douche.
Look closely.
Can you semi-employ him?
Someone should have told Johnny Knoxville that a career of falling down a mountain side in a port-a-toilet and doing asphalt face plants would be a short bitter run.
Vinnie Castelli: Deep Discount Pimp.
Team USA celebrates winning its berth in the 2012 Summer Olympics OB/GYN speed trials.
SWM taxi driver ISO Jody Foster look-alike. Will shoot folks in the face to prove his loyalty. No fatties.
Timmy "The Toad" Tortelli opened the doors at 3 am on Black Friday; it had clearly been a wise move to hold a 2-for-1 jelly dong sale at Toady's Rent-a-Dong Used Adult Toy Emporium.
Juan patiently continued to herd the hapless revelers deeper into the meat packing plants processing chute.
DB1, I disagree, Star-Jones-defensive-tackle hott in front FTW.
Cal's final deperate ploy for attention from the throng of beefy babes, a suicide attempt, failed because he forgot to say POW when he put his finger gun to his temple.
@ Scrotum Pole
Note to self. Modify top ten lines read on blogs to include Star-Jones-defensive-tackle- hot.
Brilliant, simply brilliant.
Dr. DB
In this picture of assorted college hotts enjoying a barbicue before watching 'Devil wears Prada', Trucker Douche crashes the party, and is as subtle as a grenade in a bowl of oatmeal.
This steeming pile of choad has the employment prospects of OJ and will be relegated to the Hallowed Halls of Continuously Disadvantaged.
Regards,
Douche Pitt
Meanwhile, this just in from the Off-Topic Hotline: Celebrity HCwDB fan, Jerry O'Connell, poses in a red speedo across several pages in a pretty damn funny People magazine spread.
Mr. O'Connell commended the site in April 2009, igniting a heated discussion on whether or not he was a nottadouche, which was summarily settled by Elder BagHunter Baron Von Goolo:
"Jerry O'Connell is not a douchebag. He comes vetted by Brian DePalma, is zero degrees of separation from Rebecca Romijn, Shannon Elizabeth, Elisha Cuthbert and Christine Taylor, and has worked with Don Cheadle (whom I have gotten my impressionable young son to believe is the Tooth Fairy) as well as the great Don Ho. DON HO, motherfuckers! With this much fortune in his life, if he were a douchebag on top of it all, karma would have sent an escaped chimpanzee to rape him in the ear by now."
How do I know about a grown man posing in a red speedo? I saw it in the magazine that my wife left in the toilet.
Heyyy waitaminit….
Doesn't Daphne Blue Hott know she shouldn't drink booze while pregnant? She should turn around to see her child's future.
@DarkSock^
"…in the toilet."
Yup, right where Poople magazine belongs.
I should talk. Mrs. Scrotato Head buys UsWeekly. And by buys I mean scans through it while waiting in the checkout line.
The food may have terrorized my bowels, but there were some positives to dorm life. And I'm going to have to agree with Scrotum Pole, beefy mocha hott in the front row looks all sorts of dominating fun.
I'm not going to make fun of the retard. The girls are obviously at Kansas State to get a degree in Special Needs Education.
Look at that dude and honestly tell me that he is not retarded. Can't be done.
The 2009 graduating class from Bayonne 'Tard Wrangling & Rehabilitation night school is congratulated by their first customer, Ernie "Meat Sac Chamois" Vennio.
I can totally see each and every one of these 3rd tier sorority whoos not giving a shit about my problems. While they laugh at drool-bucket for repeatedly sticking his finger in the dog's ass.
Don't you guys see the gaping lesion on that guy's hand? I give him a nottadouche on the grounds that he is an undead zombie about to feast on their brains.
ps, Saulgoode wins it.
Well, except for Warden Gab Hassan in the grey and pregnant Luisa in blue, I cannot see a Waldo because I'm dazzled by so many cheerful apple-cheeks I can barely see.
And yes, red bra and white shirt are the cute little sister good-girls of the group, but I loves me some chubby Middle-Eastern hottness, so get out your Mata Hari belly–dancer. kit, Ms. Black Shirt, you're coming home with me.
I think Luisa in blue is definitely irretrievable – look closely beneath her left arm, Trucker Choad has claimed his bleeth. And apparently inseminated her. boatbutter @ 7:35 had great insight here.
Here we see the damning photographic evidence of the incident at Gamma Pi, during which Star-Jones-defensive-tackle punched the heel of her hand through Jenny's sternum. When asked why, SJDT said, "Because she's a stank ho. All the pledges sucked off my boyfriend at the Kappa Tau mixer, but bitch got back in line for seconds."
@ Mr. Scrotato Head
I read UsWeekly twice a year at the dentist's office.
With her sorority paddle and ball gag concealed in her right hand, Star Jones Defensive Tackle prepares to rip Rene Zellweger's shirt off. "This little one's mine" she thinks.
I will let Medusa complete the scenario. Cause she's good like that.
Many thanks, but you failed to mention my pièce de résistance, Kangaroo Jack.
^ I loved your work in Tomcats.
I'm kinda diggin' the Belinda Carlisle hott in the middle.
A woefully ignored Tommy Ngyen re-enacts the Vietnamese pisto assassination scene as the annual carb ho-down kicks into high gear.
There are no hotts in this photo.
If by 'semi-employ him' you mean park a semi on his chest, then yes, I can help.
This pic reminds me that I love wimmins. Couldn't find Waldouche, tho. I can tell you he's not anywhere near the canyon of the red bra hott.
Yanno, I think I porked a chick that looked a lot like blondie in the lower left. Her joyful post-coital farts could knock down a retaining wall.
Just sayin'.
Is that Fred Garvin in the back row?
P.S. Mike? They did!
Joe Strummer's younger retarded half-brother Pete pogos in the background while the sisters of Theta Eta Pi prepare for the perilous spanking activities that are about to commence.
Shortly after this photo was taken, several were injured by the loud explosion caused when Star Jones' stomach staples cut loose.
Those heifers are about to get ripped up by that Sleestak back there.
Matt Stafford?
I think I can see his uvula in the throaty gape of a mouth.
My semi can employ him as a mechanic as soon as he gets clearance and a trailer to bed down the ladies.
Dudes, blue top isn't pregnant. She's just a muffin top.
the healthy looking pink shirt blonde on the far left needs some love too.
and by "needs some love too" i mean "needs to be rescued from Homeless Trucker and delivered to my house".
Taxi Driver 2: Travis Bickle Electric Boogaloo
Taxi Driver 2: Travis Bickle Electric Boogaloo
lest no-one be misled……
HE JUST BANGS BITCHES AND DRINKS people…