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Thursday, December 3, 2009
Pietro says “Challo!”
Pietro doesn’t have many overt greasy eurobag signifiers. But you can smell the poopie diaper through your monitor anyway.
Vixen Maria is fooled by his charming accent and vague scent of Tuscan butter cremes.
Which is really poopie diaper.
Yup.
Today I like typing “poopie diaper.”
Tomorrow, I may like typing something else.
Thursday, December 3, 2009Pietro says "Challo!"
Pietro doesn’t have many overt greasy eurobag signifiers. But you can smell the poopie diaper through your monitor anyway.
Vixen Maria is fooled by his charming accent and vague scent of Tuscan butter cremes.
Which is really poopie diaper.
Yup.
Today I like typing “poopie diaper.”
Tomorrow, I may like typing something else.
Thursday, December 3, 2009Reader Mail: Hotts Don’t let Hotts Date Douches
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Hi Douchebag 1!
I have an acquaintance of an acquaintance who has added me on facebook.
She seems like a very nice girl. I think she’s either german or polish and suuuper hot. Unfortunately for her, she seems to love douchebags.
I am a heterosexual female, and I feel like your site may be able to cure her of her poor choice in companions. I don’t know her well enough to say anything to her myself, and hopefully a post from your site will get back to her and she will see the error of her ways.
All I’m saying is: acquaintances don’t let acquaintances swim in the douche pool.
Sincerely,
HC W/O a DB in LA
P.S.- I think a lot of her DB’s are euros… is there a clause regarding euro douchebags? I mean, I kind of feel like we made them do this shit. Wait… nevermind Christian Audigier is a euro and it’s all his fault.
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You are correct both to note her propensity for Euroscrote, and also the need for collective mock on the internet as the best form of shock therapy to cure her of these poor life choices, HCWOaDBinLA.
Globally speaking, there are three countries responsible for the scrotal plague. America (global douche product hegemony), France (Audigier) and Italy (source Guidosity). Together, these three countries form the Axe-is Powers.
Thursday, December 3, 2009Reader Mail: Hotts Don't let Hotts Date Douches
—-
Hi Douchebag 1!
I have an acquaintance of an acquaintance who has added me on facebook.
She seems like a very nice girl. I think she’s either german or polish and suuuper hot. Unfortunately for her, she seems to love douchebags.
I am a heterosexual female, and I feel like your site may be able to cure her of her poor choice in companions. I don’t know her well enough to say anything to her myself, and hopefully a post from your site will get back to her and she will see the error of her ways.
All I’m saying is: acquaintances don’t let acquaintances swim in the douche pool.
Sincerely,
HC W/O a DB in LA
P.S.- I think a lot of her DB’s are euros… is there a clause regarding euro douchebags? I mean, I kind of feel like we made them do this shit. Wait… nevermind Christian Audigier is a euro and it’s all his fault.
—-
You are correct both to note her propensity for Euroscrote, and also the need for collective mock on the internet as the best form of shock therapy to cure her of these poor life choices, HCWOaDBinLA.
Globally speaking, there are three countries responsible for the scrotal plague. America (global douche product hegemony), France (Audigier) and Italy (source Guidosity). Together, these three countries form the Axe-is Powers.
Thursday, December 3, 2009Ask DB1: Is The Grieco Virus Associative?
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DB1,
Can one become a douchebag by association?
For example, Bagpoleon has other males that, for some unknown reason, want to be associated with him or be in his presence. Does that automatically make them douches as well? We know second-hand smoke can kill too but does the same hold for the Grieco virus?
Just wondering.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
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The Grieco virus travels socially as well as through coital embrace, leaping from a primary ‘bag virus carrier to his “bros” almost as easily as to the belly poochettes.
Take Timmy here, pictured on the right. Happy go lucky. He just wants to look at Cindy’s luscious flesh pillow boobie phantasmagores. Yet note the “Abercrombie and Fitch,” chin sprout, and leather S&M watch. Timmy is already plagued by exposure to Dell’s chin pube virus. He is quickly becoming ‘bag. And, as such, must not be spared the mock.
Thursday, December 3, 2009Yesterday’s “Westside Douchey” Hopes I Never Run Into Him in Person
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TAKE MY PHOTO OFF YOUR SITE!!!
I don’t know who you are or where you got my pic but if you do not take my picture and all commentary about me off your site I will take legal action against you. And hope you never run into me in person.
Sincerely,
Westside Douchey
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Well, as long as you’re sincere about it.
Thursday, December 3, 2009Yesterday's "Westside Douchey" Hopes I Never Run Into Him in Person
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TAKE MY PHOTO OFF YOUR SITE!!!
I don’t know who you are or where you got my pic but if you do not take my picture and all commentary about me off your site I will take legal action against you. And hope you never run into me in person.
Sincerely,
Westside Douchey
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Well, as long as you’re sincere about it.
Thursday, December 3, 2009Ask DB1: Surfer ‘Baggin’
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Dear DB1,
What is your take on the surfer dudes who intentionally pull their board shorts down waaaaaaay too low, for the sole purpose of unleashing a Butt Crack Reveal? Who are they trying to impress?
I’m inclined to believe that the act is a subtle ‘come hither’ to other likeminded gaybags, but a lot of these douches are rolling with hottie surfer chicks. WTF? No photographic examples please.
Yours,
-Mitch Cumstein
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There will be no Surfer Butt Crack on my watch, but the Surfer ‘Bag is definitely a category worth monitoring. And by monitoring, I mean nice shoulder tatts, Laird Assclowns.
And Surfer Stephanie requires my pooch noise upon her belly muscle.
Thursday, December 3, 2009Ask DB1: Surfer 'Baggin'
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Dear DB1,
What is your take on the surfer dudes who intentionally pull their board shorts down waaaaaaay too low, for the sole purpose of unleashing a Butt Crack Reveal? Who are they trying to impress?
I’m inclined to believe that the act is a subtle ‘come hither’ to other likeminded gaybags, but a lot of these douches are rolling with hottie surfer chicks. WTF? No photographic examples please.
Yours,
-Mitch Cumstein
—-
There will be no Surfer Butt Crack on my watch, but the Surfer ‘Bag is definitely a category worth monitoring. And by monitoring, I mean nice shoulder tatts, Laird Assclowns.
And Surfer Stephanie requires my pooch noise upon her belly muscle.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009The Ab Shellfish
As we gear up for the 2009 Douchie Awards, these two minipud Miamian shellfish wanted to pay tribute to the legend of The Ab Lobster.
While Curvy Sue offers superior back arch, and Julian Lennon on the pole wishes his solo career had taken off back in the 80s.
