Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Is She Really Going Out With Him? Season 2 — Feb. 15th

Feb. 15th, the televisual ‘bag mocking continues…

Dr. Orangelove

Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Silver Crotch Pants.

Your Gonzi Saturday

With Monday’s HCwDB of the Week our last before the Monthly, Gonzi wanted to drop by and stare creepily into your soul to influence your vote.

With 60 degree hat tilt, creepy Toyota “Scion” logo chin pubes, standard two sizes too small Ed Hardy tee, and three different legitimate hotts, Gonzi the Terrorist Ed Hardy Douche Muppet has to be the early favorite.

He even brought Rare-Ass Clear Cup to the game.

Good luck, Gonzi. You’re not a sure thing, but you’re bringing your A-Game.

Friday Thoughts and Links

I find myself ruminating on the neck tatt on this Friday.

As the images we consume replicate and reverberate through the internet age like so many spectral hauntings from our own overstimulated psyches, perhaps the permanence of the inking of the body reflects a form of response to the impermanence of the virtual.

We keep our images on disks now rather than photo albums. We store our memories on jump drives rather than negatives or slides.

Maybe the need to mark the body is an effort at regaining the tactility of the analog, in the Barthesian sense. A use of the corporeal to reclaim an authorial control over that which is sold, processed and projected at us on so many flickering hi-def screens.

Or maybe it’s just another douchey attempt to get laid.

Here’s your links:

Groin Shave Reveal tips from Gillette. The best a ‘bag can get.

Gideon Low’s LinkedIn page tells us he’s an architect, attended Bard College, and is orange.

Musician Steve Carlson takes inspiration from a fine text.

Poindexter is granted an official Rockstar Leniency Rule pass for the hair.

Gong Li Karaoke for the win.

The crazy Tralfamadorians, with their secret bafflegab language, are talking about the site again.

Random comic strip: Douchebag Intervention.

Here’s a clip of my personal hero, the greatest movie star ever, Elliott Gould, sensing Ass Pear in a library in 1970. And then meeting Han Solo.

And from classic Elliott Gould, we complete our week with…

Chef Pear.

And for bigphatnotadouche, sitting in his cubicle after a long day’s work, this one’s for you: Locker Pear.

Your humble narrator is recovering from L.A. rain and flooding, and preparing to drink heavily tonight and hit on boobie hottie suckle thigh. May the huntresses among us have a douche-free night. And may the ‘bag hunters snag some whobag jumpoffs. Get some.

Asswipes and a Hott in a Limo

Sure I could’ve come up with some clever euphemisms to describe this scene.

But sometimes ya just gotta go literal.

Kat’s Second Cousin, Brony

Poor Kat.

Dragged to the family gathering by her parents.

Forced to endure two hours of awkward conversation with her second cousin, Tony, who now wants to be called “Brony.”

Hang in there, Kat. You can move into the dorm sophomore year.

Kat's Second Cousin, Brony

Poor Kat.

Dragged to the family gathering by her parents.

Forced to endure two hours of awkward conversation with her second cousin, Tony, who now wants to be called “Brony.”

Hang in there, Kat. You can move into the dorm sophomore year.

Friday Haiku

Sweet Beth from Baja,
James Bond villain “Doctor Flame,”
Has jumped in your car.

They grew in like this
Claims orange faced skunk haired tool
Dont believe a word

— Douchesquire

orange orange skin,
bleach blond hair faux pyramid,
eyebrow sculpted, tool.

— uscrascal

Oddjobs gay son blowjob
Kissylips and peace sign hand
Beth will jump from car

— E-blos last thought

Brandon Lee’s corpse makes
Huge comback in “Crouching Pump-
kin Hidden Drag Queen”

— Mr. Scrotato Head

Who knew that gay porn
also came in Kung Fu theme?
Enter the Exit

— Mr. White

Explosives expert
Rides “bitch” in back seat after
Bomb explodes in face

– Bagnonymous

Clothes by Ed Hardy
Orange skin is by Minwax
Eyebrows by Sharpie

— scrotum pole

Is She Really Going Out With Him?: Season 2 Starts Feb. 15th

If you didn’t just catch the trailer on MTV, the show I created based on HCwDB, “Is She Really Going Out With Him?” starts Season #2 on February 15th at 6pm!

We shot in Philly and Miami this time around, and our mocking of choadscrote gets taken to new, disturbing, and hopefully hilarious levels.

Set that TiVO, bitches!

Checkitout.

Donkey Douche Turns Burnt Umber

HCwDB legend and 2009 Irving Thallbag Lifetime Achievement Winner Donkey Douche may grow older.

Donkey Douche may turn even stranger colors of rouge. And DD’s ass chin may become even more pronounced.

But in pursuit of the party hotts, the dog-tags and chest-shave will remain eternal.