Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Friday Thoughts and Links

I know.

I said no more Kadebag on the site, since it’s obviously lame Dimitri-esque shtick. But what the hell. He’s an uberdouche worthy of cultural scorn, and the Jager ladies are Paid-to-Pose hottness.

Finishing up press for the first week of Season #2 of Is She Really Going Out With Him? and heavily at work on HCwDB 2.0.

In fact, I’ll have some new designs to post in a week or two for feedback. It’s about time we make this leap and get all technological n’ stuff.

Here’s your links:

In Saudi Arabia, the ‘bags get 1000 lashes. Bring back Sharia Law!

Steven Segal wears Ed Hardy and the circle of douche is complete.

boing boing.

Attention architects: When designing a bridge, don’t forget to consider the shadows.

Happy Choad Day!

The Onion’s Chive finds yet more “inspiration” from HCwDB, writing up How to Enjoy Ed Hardy Wine under it’s “douchebag” section.

As does The Huffington Post’s “Nine Douchiest Things John Mayer Has Ever Said”. I could at least get a link-back when you borrow ideas from HCwDB, fellow websitians.

American Apparel’s Ass Pear competition continues. I’d file this one in the “great minds think alike about ass pear” section.

Speaking of premature Ass Pear, how’s about AssAssPear? There’s a “cart before the whores” joke somewhere out there, but I’m too lazy to articulate it. Or maybe I just did.

Young Bill Gates. Table Stud.

Ding dong! What’s that?

Delivery Pear.

Now go play with your package.

Pinkeye for the Asian Guy

Even Brothabag Thomas in the back can’t bear to watch.

And no, I don’t know why this dude’s head resembles the additional CGI shots of Coruscant that George Lucas just added to the reissue of Finian’s Rainbow.

Yeah, that’s right, whobags. Coruscant references.

Brothabag Corky, aka The Brohawk

Let us never doubt again if the Brothabags can get as douchey in the presence of the ladies as the white folk.

Friday Haiku

Creepy punkdouche Val,
Gives Sarah her Valentine’s,
With a side of fleas.

Axe split hair of green,
Forehead acne and shaved brows,
Do a douchebag make

— Douchesquire

Psychedelic dream
Quickly turns into nightmare
A rabbit-hand freak!

— Justin

Lisa’s tattoo guy
shows off newest idea
for her next tramp stamp

— jonezy

Cirque du poo-leil douche
jumps offstage to mack on hotts
and to hump their legs

— Bagnonymous

Tammy volunteers
With the mentally challenged
Wishes she was home.

— scrotum pole

I made eye contact
Just once. He skinned my parents
To make me this card.

— Mr. Scrotato Head

The Creepy Dude Who Lived Down the Hall in Your Freshman Year Dorm

Remember that creepy dude who lived down the hall from you in your Freshman year dorm room? I think Pete was his name?

Or maybe it was Carl.

Ever wonder what would happen to him in five years?

Now you know.

A hotel in Baton Rouge. A week’s supply of fast food. And Minnie and Mazola, whom he picked up after their shift at the Cracker Barrel ended around 11pm.

Federico Fellini’s “La Douche Vida”

Those early 1970s surreal Italian films just got weirder and weirder.

Federico Fellini's "La Douche Vida"

Those early 1970s surreal Italian films just got weirder and weirder.

Grillzilla

Because sometimes 2008’s culture poo simply won’t die quietly.

Reader Mail: Ed Hardy Literature

—-
DB1-

– Caruso
—–

Read the signs, Caruso, and all will be revealed. Invasion of the Booty Snatchers is happening, one Ed Hardy piece of cultural travesty at a time.

Shmecky O and Tracy Hott

Shmecky O busts classic douche-face and douche grease, and, in so doing, pops a squat on all of recorded history, philosophy, art and science.

Tracy Hott blinks her doe eyes in the morning dew sunlight, sings with bluejays and pirouettes with pinatas.

And then I hump her discared pizza boxes in the dumpster out back.