Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Absolut Douche
Yeah. Not sure about the new ad campaign, Absolut.
Hot Chicks With Douche Bags
PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS WITH TOTAL AND COMPLETE DOUCHEBAGS. WITH COMMENTARY.
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Hall of Mock
- Pfah
- DarkSock
- Baron Von Goolo
- Troy Tempest
- Steve L
- Wheezer
- Medusa Oblongata
- creature
- Crucial Head
- Mr. White
- Archidoucheis
- Mr. Biggs
- Vin Douchal
- Sergeant Scrote Stain
- boatbutter
- Captain Bringdown
- Whoop-di-douche
- Jacques Doucheteau
- massengill
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
- Mr. Scrotato Head
- Deltus
- The Reverend Chad Kroeger
- mr.reeve
- Wedgie
- Et Tu Douche?
- Eliza Douchcoo
- dbBen
- soy bomb
- DoucheyWallnuts
- I R A Darth Aggie
- jonezy
- Hermit
- Chris in ‘Baghdad
- Douchble Helix
- the douche is alright
- Choad the Douche Sprocket
- Stephanie
- The Dude
- Dude McCrudeshoes
- Sir David Douchenborough
- Il Douché
- Bag A
- douche equis
- Capt. James T. Douche
- Charles Nelson Douchely
- THEONETRUEDOUCHE
- Merle Baggard
- ehcuodouche
- Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
- Charles Douchewin
- FredN.
- Ol' Dirty Douchebag
- In memoriam: bcs
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I don't know, I think the "Buy a Bottle, Get a Bright Red Casio G-Shock" isn't a bad marketing ploy.
"Buy one bottle, get two orange skanks free."
The guy in the back looks the way this pic makes me feel.
I have never held a beverage of any kind, nay a bottle, in a photo op. For employment and legal reasons.
Nor have I ever sought to be in a photo as the new and semi-new generations do with great talent and hand gestures. If I am not remembered in peoples heads, fuck off.
As the Bard once said, All the world is a stage, and these people are assturd clown douchemonkeys.
As alluded to by Ms. Oblongata, this is, in fact, a promotional photo for the new line of "Sad Hardy" apparel, being modeled by the melancholic model in the background.
Dude.. behind you… the greatest thing I've… ever… Aww nevermind, you nutface. You and your Lady G-Shock watch probably wouldn't appreciate it anyway.
Girls–my room is available, if you'd like a little more privacy. Just follow me. This way please… What's that, you say? The camera on the dresser with the blinking red light? Oh, don't worry about it. The blinking red light means that the battery is low. Yup. So just go on into my room and lick each other's brains out.
If this were an ad, the tagline:
Abolut. No less douchey than Goose.
Ass Choad: "Check me out 'bro, I'm rockin' the Absolut! Fuck ya!"
Guy in Black Shirt: "Um, dude, your dignity is slinking away on the floor faster than that 3 iron Elin swung at Tiger's head."
Poor dude in the back. The club should really do something about those pigeons above the door.
Guy in the back is taking an Absolut piss on the carpet.
Brunette assumes classic "feed me" position. Neither of these clowns appears up the the challenge. Nice going, boys.
Too bad, she's kinda tasty. In that Rachael Hottowitz way, which is appropriate, since today is Passover.
Oy, time for this Goyum to have a martini. But I'll be drinking Ketel, since pusbucket here has ruined Absolut for me forever.
The sign of a true d-bag: hotts are starting to make out, but when the camera comes out to immortalize the moment, he assumes it's all about him.
I want to smash his little red watch. Smash it right in front of him. And he'll watch, wide eyed, as I do it, and start to cry. And I'll say to him, "That's for getting in the way of a perfectly good picture of half drunk chicks making out. Maybe next time… aw, who am I kidding? You won't learn."
Then I'll take away his girlie drink, and he'll cry some more.
Brunette awaits my palpation examination of her tonsils by my most-sensitive-of-instruments.
In this tough economic climate, it looks like even the 30K Millionaires are forced to trade down in the vodka category.
Over the last 36 hours we've had about (and I am not exaggerating here) nine inches of rain.
My basement floor has a thin layer of water on it.
My yard is a giant mud pit.
Which will make it that much easier to dig a giant hole and bury this whole bloody useless lot in.
I just think that the guy in the background was put into a trance from staring at the man in white's massive red swatch watch combined with the orange glow coming off of the brunette bleeth.
It looks like the guy in front, in an attempt to get in frame, shoulder checked the brunette and broke her upper back and neck by way of forced hyper-extension. He damn near decapitated her right in the middle of a hott lesbo kiss with a young Marcia Brady.
He's bent down, using a cruiser right now. He doesn't have time to do anything except makk on the hotts and drink.
Absolut Khoad.
I thought the thing was to pose with one's 'Goose in 2008,
as it was 18 years earlier to pose with one's Absolut.
Exchange student Yuri with his Commie G-Shock must still be back then, in some Russian-bread-line kinda-way.
Zee shovarr kaps, zey mayke ze goot kondomz, non?
No Yuri, in the western world, they certainly fucking Nyet.
Now at least pick up a bottle of 'Goose or Belvedere, ya damn Piker!
Leave that dang Absolut for the drunk cunnys who cain't taste no different, nohow, you Bog Galoot!
I, too, saw the Absolut piece on 60 Minute two nights ago…
Nice red watch. Does it come in men's?
These two babes made the same face Saturday night when when their Uncle Dwayne Peter Northed a half gallon of vanilla nut creamer of his own making on 'em ….
I saw it on the webcam.
True story
he looks like he likes tough, un-chewable steak.
Army of Douche-ness
If you squint it appears as if the shadowy figure in the back is, in some way, violating Vic's appletini.
And all is good with the world.
Yours in Love,
Denny DelVecchio
yournewbadhabit.blogspot.com
He looks like he's trying to pick his nose with his lips.
Free Press from a liberal blog.
Perhaps we can absolve them just this once for their complicit doucheosity.
Cuz it's Holy Week and all that.
Apparently the man in gray is an ABSOLUT GOOSE, er, uh, um, gander.
absolut vodka: if you're old enough to remember when we were top shelf, goddammit she's young enough to be your daughter, better make it a double.
those Tanqueray ads of Tony Sinclair were almost as douchey as Absolut Douche.
and that tells you just how douchey Absolut Douche is.
Absolut is so 1986. Just like Stoli is so 1993. Everyone knows the best vodka for the $ is Luksusowa.
I'm wondering if this is Joey Lips, only a more recent photo with a slightly different hair don't. Do an A-B. The eyes are in the same place, the nose is the same length and structure…
WHEEZER! Please rule on this. I call a dupe.
Is that Chrystal? Where's Smoot?
Dammit, douche. Get out of the way.
I really want to know what blondie is doing to the brunette. She must be doing it right.
both girls are actually legit… prob just smashed and taking a picture with a db
<3
both girls are actually legit… prob just smashed and taking a picture with a db
<3
Oh crazy that was very sweet of you.
Those girls are slamminggggg
Queen Creep <3 Crazy one 4eva and eva and eva