Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Douche-Face of the Beholder
I’m still creeped out by that ending of that old Twilight Zone episode, when the doctors revealed their faces and we learned it was the woman who was beautiful, and the doctors who were Jersey douchebags.
That was a good twist.
Undead, skeletal zombie bleeth smiles because she thinks she's just found three brains to feast on. Sorry, zombie bleeth. You're going to stay bony in this crowd.
Schwienhundt von Cock unt Balltz is reacting to the taste of the advocaat load he just swallowed from Henreich Puzzyliptchz in front.
Das fräuleins are telling him he has weiner on his breath.
Because this looks like a German scene to me.
I don't know what you're talking about. That is clearly Jim Carrey in the second pic.
You sir, are no Donkey Douche.
The census has a new race to check and it's "Brorange," for douchebags. The Obama Administration has an under publicized initiative to identify/quantify the douchebag population in Jerz and other places across the fruited plains.
So from 2010 forward these types will be formally known as "Bror-causian."
Joey, Chandler, Monica and ?
the douche years
And while playing hookey from the office and staying home one should tune into Fox Business channel to check out Liz Claman, Courtney Friel, Rebecca Gomez, Nicole Petallides and the delicious girl of my dreams Jenna Lee
Jenna loves me, too
Oh and the B of A, Ford and Cisco stocks I bought last March are making me a 30k millionaire.
Stock tip : Buy Citi (C) as they can't get any worse and they are "too big to fail" (wink wink), Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae as they are really affordable and they are going to single handedly bail out every toxic loan in the U.S. , loose their asses, then crank up profits enough to make congress pissed off. Because a pissed off congress is good for business.
Yay!
Any hottie who can smile while someone's reaming them with a two-foot aluminum shaft is alright in my book. And by my book I mean my bed, with her legs up in the air at two and ten o'clock.
Because I'm all about safe muff driving.
Just then, the man standing at the edge of the upstairs balcony with his fishing rod huffed, "Dammit. I was hoping to bag one of the ladies. I guess I'll just catch-and-release this one."
Hott on the right (who is very hot) has the longest & skinniest fingers I've ever seen. Can you imagine those long, skinny, skeletal fingers wrapping themselves around your balls, with the sharp nails ready to cut through your sack and sever it from your body? I can. It scares me a lot. And that look in her face tells me she's done it.
For your consideration; tongue of douche, replete with savory extract of hairy man taint.
Hey Mr S Head,
Speaking of Shaft, let's remember the baddest Mofo that ever stood in front of a mic, Oscar winner Isaac Hayes aka Black Moses.
Shaft – Live
Fucking service companies. Got another hour at home. Boy, am I fucking bored.
Lester and Earl
Where's Beverly Hillbilles reruns when you need them? Huh? I'm talking to YOU TVLand.
Now Megyn Kelly's talking about shafts and drilling. Might have to fwap… that'll kill 3 minutes ..
Nice lips.
Stupid tonque.
Fake lips.
Douche lips.
Easter is ruined again. How am I going to drive 500 miles after seeing this.
Real American Stories, Sarah Palin's new TV show, has Jack Welch and Toby Keith on this Thursday. "A" List celebs are flocking to this gal's show?
Can't say I'd like to have a conversation with her, but I'd like to bang her until her vision turned 20/20.
Problem is , when it leaked out she'd probably lie about the size of my cockk…
@Mr. Scrotato Head
Two foot aluminum shaft.
These may be the four horsepeople of the apocalypse.
But the one an the left is sort of normal. By normal I mean I would like to ream her with my fluffy bunny and my Louisville Slugger. The one on the right is ???????? A man?? The guys are gay.
This is the reason why a tax on indoor tanning was put in the health care bill. Now if we could only impose fines on stupid hand gestures, big ass watches, and see-through shirts for guys, we could fund a new department of the F.B.I that would be responsible for punching scrotes who make retarded faces while taking pictures. After they've accomplished that they'd of course whisk the hotts off to the debleething room followed by the sucklethigh lounge.
That is change I can believe in.
I understand there is corrective surgery to correct facial disfigurement of these sorts… hotts must be hostess for make-a-wish mongaloid marathon
Hott on the right is Bleething too much, hott on the left can still be spared, methinks. Tongue douche is trying his best to infect her as rapidly as possible by breathing the virus directly at her. Dirty pool, if you ask me.
I'm looking at the background. Is this a Mormon convention or something? The four in the foreground are demonstrating what hell will be like for those who don't convert.
By simply covering her vestigal tail with aluminum foil Cindy saved a fortune in custom slacks and skirt costs.
melpomene and thalia bleeths hold the douche face comedy and douche face tragedy…
@euripadouche:
excellent mythology ref on the Muses there.
The douchiest thing about the bags IS their lip-mouth expressions. Wannabes.
Hottest thang about the Hotts is their lissome loveliness and gorgeous smiles.
A perfect double-pairing of HOTCHICKS and DOuchebags is what we find here, and so I salute ye, DB1, for being true to site.
i do believe that Deathtongue has met his match.
Sin City Gigi on the right. Smokin!!
Is that Joey from Friends in the front?
Guy LaDouche
Hey gaylord what’s with the trout pout