Ask DB1: Are Bodybuilders Bodybags?
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DB1,
I was wondering, are body builders automatically douchebags? Like, is it a profession that automatically qualifies you as a total scrote, or is it only douchebags who think that you can call injecting steroids every day a job.
Sincerely MJS.
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We define douchebaggery as the transformation of the body into spectacle to attract attention, so by that definition, yes, anyone who excessively works on their body beyond the point of good health or physique, qualifies.
However, as we see with Lumpy here, and his distant cousin, the late, great Pumpy, good humor and good cheer can go a long way towards mitigating any inherent douche classification.
So I will say yes, extreme bodybuilders start at a basic stage-1 ‘bag status. But can redeem themselves if there are no other scrotal signifiers present, and they exhibit self deprecating humor about their own cartoonish bodies.
And I see you too, Stacy. The pinch you just felt on your buttcheek? Wasn’t me. Okay, it was.
guilty until proven innocent, roid boy.
Stacy’s tits are wider than the Three Gorges Dam.
which is why Stacy can really use my patented breast positioning surgery.
hey i’m just trying to catch up. DB1 is already drunk. or something.
I have been pondering this question myself for years. I lift weights as a hobby, maybe more than a hobby, to keep in shape. Yes I am very muscular but not roided out. I dont have any tatoos or tan. I wear sleeves to the gym and never show my abs in inappropriate places for pics. Does the presence of above average muscle make me an auto-douche? I hope not.
As far as the East is from the West, so art her boobies. So saith I.
If her boobs were any farther apart they’d meet at her spine.
so it is said and so it shall be.
walleye
The space between her boobs is so wide, it …uh, it could fit a third boobie.
I bet her sternum said something really offensive to her boobs. Wow, just wow.
Each boob has it’s own area code.
Her boobies are so far apart they technically qualify as third and fourth limbs.
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Holy shit! Literally.
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I just realized she is Vishnu.
Stacy’s boobs are so wide they are the design team for chickenwaterwings.com.
Stacy’s boobs are so far apart the Pony Express uses them for saddlebags.
I’m just havin’ fun imagining Stacy’s bikini top on Lumpy’s lumps.
Stacy’s boobs are so far apart , a reconciliation team has been called in to reunite them.
Nothing wrong with Stacy’s boobies. I can fix ’em with a bungee cord and a little duct tape. That and a little WD-40 would make it an interesting 30 seconds.
Someone bowled bedposts right up Stacy’s alley.
When Moses parted the Red Sea, Stacy was there….yes, she was.
Mind the gap
Left boob to right boob (sobbing) :
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“Why did we have to drift apart?”
Stacy has a plan…to paste those little white bows on Lumpy’s nips later that evenin’.
Stacy took triangulation to heart in her trigonometry class.
Stacy was the best model for demonstrating continental drift that her geography teacher had ever seen.
Unlike many of her gal-pals who had twin peaks, Stacy had shifting sand-dunes.
The pictured ‘roid-bag’s unaturally small head could comfortably fit between Stacy’s boobs.
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-seriously. Wow. Just, wow.
When Stacy’s boobs didn’t agree on the quality of her boyfriends, they just parted ways.
Stacy is that rare female who has big tits AND a flat chest.
Every so often, Stacy’s knockers stage a ping-pong tournament as an excuse to get close again.
Ok, when ‘bag’s pecs are bigger than the hott’s boobs, Houston, we have a problem!
Just sayin’
This is why centerboobs are needed. Well, that and other reasons.
i do believe stacy has backboobs. boobs you can see from the back, the kind of girl you absolutely have to catch up to, to see what is going on around back…
they are a distance cousin twice removed from front ass, the kind of rounded posterior so prominent, it can be glimpsed when she is standing in front of, or walking towards you….
now in stacy’s case, her actual front boob doesn’t live up to the lofty expectations of her back boob….but she
her side boob can be seen from sarah palin’s house.
her boobs are so far apart you have to paddleboat them.
around front…
d.o.c.
I believe we’ve already covered the whole muscle=douche theory. It’s never a bad idea to revisit and re-analyze, based on new evidence. This guy looks all right to me, but the hair is pushing it. And by pushing it I mean backwards. Don’t fight it, flex, shave it off and call it a day. The only thing worse than douche hair is thinning douche hair. Rejoice and be glad, for balding men have more testosterone, ergo higher sex drive and tendency to pass on male heirs. I love me some horny baldies.
She oughta get her money back. The roundness at the sides of those things suggests implants, despite the sag. The bad news about implants is, they don’t change the shape of your tits, they just make ’em bigger. If you were born with beaver-tails, you’re just gonna get bigger, fatter beaver tails. Bummer.
Can I get this Gravatar business straight already? Jeebus. And Gravatar is still one of the gayest words EVER.
Testes.
Testes, testes.
Fuck it.
Judge not by the color of the skin…nor the muscles beneath…but by the content of the character (remembering Pumpy, a Notta, assuming looking like the Hulk makes not an auto-bag).
The least douchie among them may, in fact, be miserable with Body Dismorphic Disorder.
Cum hoc ergo propter hoc translates roughly as “All that is beefy is not ‘bag.
@Dumbass above (5:21)
Cum hoc ergo propter hoc, you mean.
How does one find a bikini top that allows for that kind of distance?
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I can’t help but wonder what it looks like when she’s running….
I threw a topic in at the forum, check it out..
Hunters Convention
Let’s see if that ^ link works
Yay! I linked.
Speaking of links, there’s a great one at the KTLA website called:
The Faces of Meth
Shocking, sometimes hilarious “after” photos are featured. Skip to #17 and check out the next five or so. Wow. Just wow.
And just who the hell is Buffalo Beast in the Hall Of Mock?
Good catch, V.D. Speaking of the Hall of Mock, if you’re in there and want me to link your name somewhere, email me-
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– management
I wonder if Vera’s boobies do the same thing as Stacy’s if she put on that bikini?
Vera’s boobies
Stacy, lose Lumpy the “pin-cushion” and run away with me
Buffalo Beast calmly and stealthily strolled through the crowd in the background, silently mocking all that he saw… and careful not to let anyone see or hear his ghostly insults.
Dude, if you’re working out so much that your boobies become bigger than your girlfriend’s…
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Stop. Just stop.
Stacy’s boobies’ theme song is “They’ll Be Comin’ ‘Round the Mountain…”
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Pretty soon she’s gonna need a backssiere.
and by paddleboat of course i meant paddlewheel
you would have to paddle wheel stacy’s boobs
I’m guessing that .223 hanging from his neck is packin’ more girth than his roided-out pecker.
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I bet it smells like Stacy’s cooch, and that’s why he hangs it directly under his nose.
The buff-bag eh?
with every rep, Ed Hardy laughs.
…and we cry.
Ach! Mein reizender Douchebeutel…
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continental drift theory has never been better demonstrated than on her chest!
Her boobies are farther apart than republicans and democrats on health care.
Hey, I already used Continental drift way back with the geography teacher, Creature. Read the previous posts you dear little animal, you.
Her theme song is the Beatles’ “Come Together.”
A fella could not boobie-fuck Stacy, he’d have to do a one-arm-one-tit fuck. And if he was a two-peckered billygoat, he could do both at once.
…just sayin’,
Can’t believe I’m the first one to notice Stacy’s sideboob by default of her flesh chasm between her balloons. That middle string on the bikini top is screaming for mercy already.
Ahhh…Just cracked an ice cold “Mountain Rush”, Shasta’s knock off of Mountain Dew. It’s great.
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These two are hideous.
Don’t laugh. They both have Lateral Nipple Syndrome.
Her tits are so far apart, Plinky’s mom could land a steamer on her sternum, no problem.
Her boobies are so far apart that if you motorboat them, you’ll throw out your neck, kid!
Never seen equilateral cleavage before – the triangle defined by her boobs and bikini is an inspiration to geometry fans everywhere. But the polka dot breast defenders are isosceles triangles? This is too odd. Intuitively I’d assumed that any outfit where the width of the cloth covering bewbs was smaller than the inter-cleave distance would be good. This is NOT what I had pictured…
We define douchebaggery as the transformation of the body into spectacle to attract attention
So where does this leave circus clowns?
There’s certainly something wrong with them but I don’t think I’d go with “douchebag” per se.
Do you think her boobs are normally like that, or is there a chance that this picture was taken at 400 mph?
^ Mimes are still pretty douchey, though.
CAULK! Darksock beat me to the health care joke. I guess I need to show up before midnight to be current.
What the heck happened to her boobies? Did the left one tell a really racist joke or something?
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Speaking of caulk, I worked in an custom cabinet shop once, and we always had arguments about which was better: white caulk, or black caulk. Black caulk was generally stronger and made for a tighter seal, but white caulk is more aesthetically pleasing to the eye. It all comes down to a question of personal taste really.
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I didn’t care where my caulk came from, personally. As long as my caulk was strong, flexible, and didn’t stink like ammonia.
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And yes, clowns ARE douchebags. Mimes, on the other hand, are Frenchy-fag-nasty clowns and need to be eradicated. Like the Peugeot.
The look on her face suggests that Patrick Starfish just shat all over Sandy Squirrel and Mister Krabbs in her Bikini Bottom…
And you thought Steve Martin was joking about the risks of “dislocated breasts” in Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid.
Stacy’s breasts learned that behaviour from watching her legs.
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Medical Fact.
Lumpy’s right nipple is tentatively sniffing at Stacy’s breasts, as a dog would another’s anus, wondering if there’s any hope for reconciliation.
Apes. Damn dirty apes
hesh it u big head sumbitch; yo head so damn big when you go to balloon races people keep jumping on your shoulders for a ride
jesus tits!used to be a figure of speech, but hers look like they have been nailed to the opposite side of a cross bar.
Her boobs are so far removed from each other, they could safely mate and make a baby boob.
Agreed on your diagnosis of the situation, boss. Although in his case, he may have other signifiers. Possible grease hair. Are them dogtags hanging from his thigh, sorry I mean neck? Possible GSR. And given everyone else’s dress, possible Inappropriate Shirtlessness.
I like ’em. Hatters.
Tell me that’s not Alice the Goon from Popeye…
http://images.darkhorse.com/covers/300/12/12696.jpg
Saying a bodybuilder isn’t a douchebag is like saying someone isn’t an alcoholic because they just overdrink beer….It’s like being pregnant, you either are or you aren’t.
Stacy’s got a dude face, she looks like she could be this choad’s sister.