Sunday, April 18, 2010
Douchebags Frolic in the Parking Lot #562
In the far off land of New Jersey, when the retirees are asleep and the construction sites have closed for the evening… the Jerzbags come out to frolic.
EDIT: Extra points for finding the DJ Bello cameo.
Not so bad. I give ’em props for creativity. I think they are actually at that club, where the inside looks like the outside and the outside looks like the inside.
By the way, peeing in a girls butt is called “a hot tub”. I couldn’t believe the girl I met was up for it and had a name for it. Damn, I love the sluts.
First!
Thanks Darksock. I had forgot to post first
The “hot tub” leads to a mess if she ain’t close to a toilet.
No one can claim this site isn’t educational. All this time, I thought butt peeing was a myth.
“EDIT: Extra points for finding the DJ Bello cameo.”
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That means I’d possibly have to sit through the entire 3:26. The harakiri, of course, follows immediately after.
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The question: Do I have a death wish?
Back in the more wholesome days of my youth we only did constructive things in parking lots after hours. Like traffic drugs, knife-fight and hustle anus for cash. Not like this horrific “frolicking” business.
Proof that Bags come in all shapes and colors. That is the lamest, gayest thing I have seen since WoHo on Halloween.
WeHo not WoHo. WoHo is a cheaper version of HoHos.
Dude’s name is Mario.
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Go figure.
Even a gweed with wicked moves
Hanging out with a Jersey hott,
May become a douche when the dickweed blooms
In a MickeyD’s parking lot.
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Huh…gypsy curses just don’t have the oomph they did when I was a kid.
@darksock
We showed off our bad-ass Camaros and listened to Slayer. Then we’d go off to play “White Trash Laser Tag.” It’s like laser tag, except you don’t have the money for the real thing, so you use .22s instead. Head shots not allowed!
Two Guidos in a parking lot frolics
Secretly yearn for each other’s Jaw-Sticks;
They substitute their foot-working
For their craving of Man-Gherkin
And mutual 69 Ball-Licks
They substitute classic stoicism
For parking lot frolics and glowstickism.
With retardation aplenty,
I predict after twenty,
A future full of onanism.
How appropriate that this takes place in the handicapped spot!
for those who haven’t seen it, here is one of the lastest vids of the many guido hate videos on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPZWWEFf83Y
At the end of their McDonald’s shift
Two gweeds show their frolicking gift:
Each one throws down their dance
Like fire ants fill their pants
‘Til Momma pulls up with their lift.
Behold the biggest dipshits on Earth
Cuttin’ rugs on McDonalds Turf;
They frolic and prance
With their rubber-legged dance;
Such high self-esteem…yet no Worth.
Bobby Bratz and his ilk, Meh! Who cares?
As they flash their most worthless wares
In Islam their dead
Cut off their heads
Answering any faith’s fervent prayers
And where the hell’s Captain Bringdown?
Douchebags Frolic in the Parking Lot #562
On any Sunday there’s better things to do
Trim Granny’s toenails
Mop up granpa’s shit trails
For narry a dime or thank you
their= they’re ^
And where the hell’s Spell Nazi?
And where the hell’s Buffalo Beast ?
I was going to expound on the banality of this, the utter pointlessness of it.
But now, I cannot believe that peeing in butts not only is a real thing, but it’s called a “hot tub”. Un-fucking-believable.
I’ll just be over in the corner, weeping for the doomed fate of humanity. Nothing to see here. Carry on.
Well I guess I better not tell Deltus what a “Yellow Clydesdale” is then….
To a different tune, the douche marches,
Their poor diet is heavy with starches,
Like some weasels with cholic,
These guidos do frolic,
‘Neath the light of the bright Golden Arches.
Did I delete that rant? Fuck.,
ok, i grew up in the suburbs of boring as hell Cleveland but cant fathom that we would have ever danced in parking lots. I just dont get how this even happens.
buy some fucking skatebaords or something
The only thing that would improve this video is if a drifting car lost control and wiped them out.
I can only dream…
This reminds me of the treasured lyric from the classic Joni Mitchell song Big Yellow Gas Pee, that went thusly:
“They paid a pair of guys, to put IcyHot up in their slots.
Mmmmm, na, na, na na.”
And by the way, where the hell is Douchetoevsky?
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Or Holbrook’s Douchestershire Sauce?
Where’s Pfah? I know he’s got an iPad at home…
I had an Ambien addled dream that Douche Vader and BCS came back…the thin line in the sands of time between sanity and batshit crazy is being blown hard, like an L.A. coke dealer named Big Vig in a nightclub toilet stall by a Kansas famgirl named Jenny that her parents will only see once more, with a “Y” incision between her breasts.
Hey, for these guys it was probably either this or green-beret their way into the old abandoned mental asylum, snort some reagent-strength Peruvian mescaline, commune with the old gods, and rewrite the victorian classics like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde at a seance with EINSTÜRZENDE NEUBAUTEN scraping the paint off the annex walls with a rusty bedframe from 1899.
… I guess this was just less effort.
Next time fellas, next time.
bobby b is hot and why dont you put up a video of him getting the clubs crazy ASSHOLESSS
If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s being accused of not having an asshole.
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I have a perfectly good, albeit stinky, asshole.
I’m glad you are back Jessica. It’s been a while since one of our “olde” trolls showed up.
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DB1 actually tried to put up footage of Bobby Batz lightin’ da club on fiyahhh wiff his mad skillzz!!!
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Unfortunately, Whitesnake confiscated all the footage.
Damn. This is still slow and nasty. I am looking forward to getting a new computer…
I got through the video right up to where Bello shows up. Then I stopped it before my retinas turned into pools of molten lead.
between DJ Bello and JESSICA, HCwDB has its next century’s worth of materials down pat. for better or worse.
wait. did DB1 already say that on Twitter? damn.
yeah i got nothin’ on this lazy Sunday evening except copious amounts of drinking.
Bobby Blatz can dance a jigsaw toothless. Hatterz.
ay yi yi. not sure the extra points were worth it. that was fail on so many levels.
–VS
For those of you jockeying for top gun in your local purple prose competitions: trek back to the Stackhouse update from last week. It appears The Man himself Cames To Correkt.
it’s just a couple of kids having fun in a parking lot.
now, show me a dude on a motorcycle with modified straight pipes, and i will guarantee the douchery will be explosive, that’s right–explosive douchery! nothing like being next to an asshole that thinks his bike has to be louder than a 747 for there personal style (yeah, blow the alleged “safety reasons”, that is a canard).
i am an internet douchebag
we need to archive this and many other materials, for a ready counter, the next time the rhetoric of american exceptionalism finds its way too far into the bloodstream of our body politic.
shorter: who the fuck are we to think we are bettter than anyone when we do shit like this.
Jessica, I was at one of Batz’s parties at his crib and it was off the chizzain! There were five people lurking in the shadows, a neglected dog committing suicide on the back porch, jizz stains on the bathroom mirror, and a brown sleeping bag in the corner that smelled like kim chi and fecal matter.
The parking lot dance party was a hit
So great that young Brittany taped it
And even old Bello
Shows up to say “Hello”
And his friends are meticulous ass shit
Whenever they have the chance
Some guys just gotta dance
They flop like flounders
As they eat Quarter Pounders
They should be run through with a lance
Maybe these Guidos need some “Jersey Boy” therapy…….
http://theproblemwithmentoday.blogspot.com/2010/04/disturbing-trend.html
who the fuck stole my avatar?
dudes on this site are surely douchebags, but the chicks aren’t hot; so I don’t really get the name. Anyway, all you dorks who make fun of these guys are just as lame as they are. Why would you want to look at other losers all day, does it make you feel better about yourselves? I could maybe see this shit website going over well with bickering 14 year olds, but unfortunately it seems to be mostly young adults commenting & posting. Go do something positive, instead of frustrating yourselves looking at people you obviously don’t like day in & day out.
wow.
Just wow.
really. wow.
This confirms my stance on animal testing. Whatever they gave those chimps is just downright nasty.
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I was hoping that was some sort of Toyota truck those guys got out of at around 2:00 minutes. You know, they kind where the accelerator gets stuck and then runs their asses over and over and over again.
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Oh and you’reaslameastheyare… Go fuck yourself. I’m not 14 and I love to make fun of douches. If we don’t, who will. I know I’m a hatter and all that but if you don’t like it here go to http://www.isuckdouchesformoney.com where you belong.
The eastern cottontail rabbits in my backyard are more fun to watch in the spring-mating season than these two wankers.
In my earnest opinion, the Jerzwanks were exposed to National Geographic videos of African tribal ritual dances when they were but mere elementary school students, and added a few snorted substances to their acquired routine as they reached junior high. High school and beyond brought increased testosterone effects to the brew.
What hath emerged is a kind of testicular bunny-hop, if you will……
This confirms my stance on animal testing. Whatever they gave those chimps is just downright nasty.
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I was hoping that was some sort of Toyota truck those guys got out of at around 2:00 minutes. You know, they kind where the accelerator gets stuck and then runs their asses over and over and over again.
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Oh and you’reaslameastheyare… Go fuck yourself. I’m not 14 and I love to make fun of douches. If we don’t, who will. I know I’m a hatter and all that but if you don’t like it here go to http://www.isuckdouchesformoney.com where you belong.
It isn’t often that I return this late to the scene of the visual crime, but these dancing boys do remind me of the FRONTLINE episode I just watched on PBS this evening, about the Bacha Bazi “Dancing Boys of Afghanistan” in that they could well be older, used up rejects.
Well, there IS a resemblance to the vapidness of it all…