Friday, April 2, 2010
Friday Haiku
Stallone Douche says “yo!”
Shows toxic Groin Shave Reveal,
While Pam’s boobs implode.
Those pink ta-maters
Give me wood this fine morning
Douchebag kills the mood
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Flesh-eating worms grow
big in each abdomen. Feed
on Axe and plastic.
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Her name is Nena
Not all of the poofed balloons
Are long, white and bent.
– Wheezer
Weather looks steamy,
A polka-dot bikini,
One tiny weenie.
– scrotum pole
Today’s episode
Of Douching for Dollars is
Brought to you by splut
– saulgoode42
Her boobs are legit
As Gypsy Three Card Monte
Using three d-cups
– Vin Douchal
Those pink ta-maters
Give me wood this fine morning
Douchebag kills the mood
Large pink ladybugs =
sign that summer is coming,
and I am also.
I'm working new shift,
so I need time to renew
my Haiku spirit.
Unfinished tribal
shows a lack of commitment.
Focus on boobies.
She was much hotter
before I noticed the pits
in her abdomen
Bleeth looks like Cylon
Douche fungus quickly spreading
Need cleansing fire now.
Summertime beach bash
is where we often see Bra!!
He's buying cola.
First sign of tiny
Dick is overworked abs. Pam
Is not impressed, dude.
Atta boy Ab-boy!
You may score on the fun bags
If you are not gay
Weird ab line shows that
he woke up in the tub with
"Call 9-1-1" sign.
What's in her stomach?
I'm not sure, but my guess is,
Twelve un-shelled walnuts.
Hat pulled down so far
to keep out glare of the sun
but can't hide baldness.
One of those black dots
is a nipple, I just know.
I must find which one…
Her name is Nena
Not all of the poofed balloons
Are long, white and bent.
Why so serious,
Dick? He's bummed out because his
Roids shrank his wanker.
Don't know what's harder:
her fake breasts or his stomach?
Oops, I just threw up.
Today's episode
Of Douching for Dollars is
Brought to you by splut
Groin muscles form an
arrow. "Vagina down here,"
they point at his crotch.
Stallone you may say
Vegas slacker boob hunter
Sly? Nay, I say Frank
In five minutes' time
Ray and Stacy will commence
Battle of the Chests
Weather looks steamy,
A polka-dot bikini,
One tiny weenie.
The line of guys forms
to the right, to get pic with
Paid-to-pose hot chick
White tank in the back
forgot new driver's license,
so wears age on shirt.
Her boobs are legit
As Gypsy Three Card Monte
Using three d-cups
Yo! Adrienne, Yo!
Swimmer drowning in the pool
Float him in with boobs
Frank has a boner,
but you'd never know because
the 'roids shrank his dick.
The groin shave reveal,
May hide what's really missing:
His vacous soul.
Pam and Tommy take
photo for comparison
of cup size. He wins!
Open casting call
Extras for Rocky Fifteen
Sly says, "Pick this one"
Easter at ReHab
They're hunting for trouser eggs
Sadly, he has none
Sun beats down so bright.
Not so bright is this fine pair.
Glossy skin abounds.
He likes Rambo flicks
and wants to star in next one,
but lacks the big gun.
Yo, I know those two.
He buys 'roids from my homie.
She used to be flat.
Ripped from the headlines
Her body found in suitcase
Next day in dumpster
What, too soon?
Rocky smugglin' 'roids
into Australia again?
They're not in his trunks.
Fresno swap meet brings
the locals. Sid and Sal shop
for good character.
Flesh-eating worms grow
big in each abdomen. Feed
on Axe and plastic.
I have to wonder…..
No recent takedown requests;
Have 'bags seen the light?
Tangueray and Cash
Sequel airing this summer
Needs lots of tonic
It's Shore Barbeque
Day on the cruise ship schedule
This makes me seasick
Douchetoo on shoulder
Hairless man grooms perfection
Too long to ready
This Spring Break mixer
infested by alums of
The Schlorts of Fratbush
Manure Gas bags popped
with success in Ohio
Next stop is Fresno
Cosmo Carboneless
wants her Paradise Alley,
settles for his F.I.S.T.
Douche is a disease
Bite of Cobra might cure it.
Her eyes are shielded.
Tribal tat on arm
Thousand yard stare is not good
Pam ends up dead soon
No haiku mojo
Everything I write is shit
Damn you haiku gods!
Grounds Security
wannabe,Dave, gives his best
Clint stare. Still a douche.
I feel so alone.
Since returning to Blogger,
no one has seen me.
Pam has colored her
eggs for Easter. Dave is just
a six foot hare turd.
Oh yeah, "Conflicting"?
I've been banned altogether.
Try that on for size!
Good Friday Haiku
Can we crucify douchebags?
Let priests molest them.
@ Conflicting Edits & Comment Deleted:
Alright, already!
You know, I'm hurting too.. so
both of you, shut up.!
Is that a Dodge Ram
on his hat? That makes his
entire look bankrupt.
White balloons are sperm
At this Love-In. Very low
count due to steroids.
Haikus are missing
Crucial and Dark Sock. So are
folks buying house plans?
P-fah's IT team
blocking out our architects
and some other regs?
Picture worth "M" words
Here is essence of April
Fools. Joke is on them.
Working the swing shift
has some drawbacks, though I'm glad
I'm here for Haiku.
Regs take the day off
and leave us to see this sh*t.
"Good Friday" for them.
Big Pink Ladybugs
Can't ward off the Grease – here comes
Leader of T-Turds.
Rethink uber-chode,
Amanda, you and I can
play connect-the-dots
I hoped sheer volume
would land me on the front page.
Boss is generous.
Chick with little fat
Only means one thing, paper
Thin labia; score!
@ Wheezer:
If sheer volume wins,
this website would be re-named
"Pam's big pink boobies."
She was gut-punch-ed,
With brass knuckles, Oh why did
someone miss his face?
@Bagnonymous –
Would that we could see
just photos of big boobies
with no scrote in sight…..
I must take my leave:
errands to run before work,
so I'll miss Ass Pear.
('Til tonight, anyway…..)
Gangbang line today,
No Houston 500, It's
short like Frank's pee-pee.
she smuggles ferrets
inside her vacuous womb
they play field hockey
breast implants distract
but the look from behind says
her junk is tucked back
Bruce Willis' brother,
Way too serious, Should be
Om nomming those boobs.
He thinks light is waves,
She likes particle theory,
But they make it work.
I can't speak for you
But I would surely hit it.
Layered condoms, though.
everything about
you is so uninspired.
fact: gene pool shallow.
his boobs are at least
as big as hers. just as fake.
injection zeitgeist.
you spent all winter
training for hard rock rehab.
al qaeda trains harder.
america no
longer produces but
john deere hats still exist.
He's Over the Top
Stop, or Bambi's Boobs Will Shoot
It's Copland time, ya'll.
Pam wants to tell you
spring is here. Rick wants to sell
you used cars. beware.
holy fuck i actually made it to a Friday Haiku.
Clash of the Boobies
is a better movie than
Clash of the Titans.
more losers leaving comments about pussy they could never get and guys they prob got beaten up by in highschool, kill yourselves insecure losers,
1st! yes!!
Sloppy seconds! Yes!